


Maze Runner Oneshots

by 4Jean_Drake7



Category: The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual Thomas (Maze Runner), Depressed Newt, Depressed Thomas, F/F, F/M, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Multi, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Minho, Sexual Abuse, Teresa Agnes and Thomas (Maze Runner) are Twins
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:14:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 24,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27509677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/4Jean_Drake7/pseuds/4Jean_Drake7
Summary: 1. Waves2. Rewritten Fate3. The Cure To A Broken Heart4. I'll Text You Forever5. All Things Come To An End6. To Comfort A God7. Merry Newtmas <38. New Year's Eve9. Left In Ruins10. Don't Die For Me11. Hold Me (I'm Broken)12. Time Stands Still13. Habits14. Trial By Fire15. Come Back (I Still Need You)16. Coming Out
Relationships: Aris Jones/Minho (Maze Runner), Ben/Gally (Maze Runner), Brenda/Gally (Maze Runner), Brenda/Minho (Maze Runner), Frypan/Winston (Maze Runner), Newt/Thomas (Maze Runner), Teresa Agnes/Aris Jones, Teresa Agnes/Brenda (Maze Runner), Teresa Agnes/Minho (Maze Runner), Winston/Zart (Maze Runner), newtmas
Comments: 77
Kudos: 77





	1. Chapter 1

The relaxing sound of waves crashing against the shores calmed Thomas’s nerves. He came here when he needed time to calm down, to reflect on his life.

Ever since he came to the Safe Haven, he came to the beach when he wanted to think. He didn’t know why, but it soothed him more than anywhere else.

He tried several other things before finding his own safe place. The first place was one of the worst mistakes he ever made. The garden. He was such a fool for thinking he’d be able to take things off his mind there of all places.

Especially when the topic he was trying to avoid thinking about was Newt. Gardening was just an easier way to lead him to much darker thoughts and scarier places he didn’t need to visit.

The next attempt at escaping was the hills. Dark green grass only brought back memories to the vines that climbed up to the top of the maze walls, and the height of the mountains flashed back memories that he wanted to forget.

It seemed unfair to Thomas. First WICKED steals his memories before the Glade, and now the only memories he had were traumatizing ones from the Glade up until now. Even if he did decide to let WICKED remove the Swipe from his mind, he would always question whether his old memories were fake or not.

And then he tried the beach. The yellow gritty sand couldn’t remind him of anything from his life in the Glade, and the crashing blue waves of water gave a calming sound. Quickly, he found sanctuary in the way the billowing blue crashed against the tiny beads of sand.

Thomas usually liked to lay in the sand, the warm sun slowly cooking his skin. He would close his eyes and visions of the waves would be the only thing on his mind, the sound of rushing water filling his ears and blocking the sound coming from The Safe Haven.

It’s been several months since he first came to The Safe Haven, and still he hasn’t told Minho about Newt’s last moments spent with Thomas pleading him to shoot him in the head. As Thomas worked at pulling out fish from the sea in a boat one of the immune people had carved, all he could think about was Newt’s final words to him.

Thomas tried to empty his mind, tried to replace the fears with hope for a brighter future by listening to the waves. Unfortunately today the wind didn’t blow and the water was rather still. It was driving Thomas mad. He couldn’t stop thinking about how Newt looked at him with his crazy eyes, hope and a sense of brokenness mixed into them. Couldn’t stop hearing the gunshot that signaled his best friend's death.

And above all, he couldn’t stop thinking about how much he wished Newt where right next to him, laughing at something stupid Thomas might have said to him. His thoughts went far beyond that, how much he wanted to tell Newt how he truly felt, how he wanted to kiss the boy senseless until he couldn’t breathe.

But now the chance to say these things were too late. He was too late. And it was tearing him up inside.

Thomas hadn’t realized he wasn’t breathing until his reflex had to pull him from his thoughts, forcing air back into his lungs by taking a large gasp. His eyesight was blurry, making him think he started crying at some point, and his grasp on the fishing net had been released, the net now in a lump on the boat.

Thomas stared down at the pile of rope for a while, as he tried to keep his breathing pattern normal again. The net was made of many knots, all of them looking exactly the same, yet strangely unique to Thomas.

As the sun started to hit the surface of the hills far past the open sea, Thomas pulled himself together. He furiously wiped at his eyes, suddenly angry at himself for crying. He had promised himself long ago he would stop doing that, and just try to live with his mistakes.

He pushed the small bucket of water and fish he had caught earlier that day to the front of the small rowboat, before sitting down on the one bench and grabbing oars to get himself to dry land.

The wind picked up again, as seeing night usually came with a small breeze, and suddenly small waves came crashing against the sides of Thomas’ small rowboat. As the oars pushed back against the waves, Thomas felt himself calm down a little.

The pressuring weight he usually felt lifted, even if it was just a tiny bit, and he suddenly remembered how to stop thinking and just be a human. Not a creator of the Maze. Not one of WICKED’s toys, and not a murderer. He was just present in the world.

In no time, the rowboat reached the sand, and Thomas climbed out to pull the boat fully ashore so that it wouldn’t float away overnight. The wind ruffled his hair slightly, and the waves were now even bigger, relaxing Thomas even more as he let his mind forget his worries.

Nobody was waiting for Thomas on the shore, and he was thankful for that. He didn’t think he wanted to be bombarded with questions when his mind was so at ease. He took his task of bringing the fish to Frypan slowly, his bare feet sinking into the cooler sand with every step.

Thomas savored the feeling of the gritty sand squishing between his feet, and tried to stretch out the sounds of the calming waves as much as possible before he reached the small village, where huts had been built and people were most certainly gathered, waiting for him.

When his feet felt grass tickle his toes, Thomas stopped at the edge of the beach and turned around to face the ocean one last time.

He let a single tear roll down his cheek as he watched them overlap one another, before whispering one word to the waves.

“Goodbye.”

It wasn’t only to tell his own little Safe Haven goodbye, but a goodbye for so much more. As the stars in the sky gleamed down at him, he was whispering to his friends as well, as if in one final farewell he never got to say to them.

Teresa, Alby, Chuck, Winston. And Newt. Everyone he left behind, just like he was leaving behind the beach. 

Until tomorrow.


	2. Rewritten Fate

A splintering, shattering noise split the air so loudly that Thomas looked back. His eyes drifted upward, where a massive section of the ceiling had torn loose. He watched, hypnotized, as it fell toward him.

“Tom!” Teresa screamed, dashing over to his side.

But it was too late.

The ceiling hit Thomas’s body, forcing him onto the floor. Teresa cried out for him once more, kneeling next to his head when she arrived by his side. She gently grabbed the sides of his face with shaking hands, sobs escaping from her quivering mouth.

“Please don’t leave me. Not after all I did to you.” Teresa said, tears running down her freckled cheeks and her voice cracking in places.

Thomas used the last energy he had to keep reply to her plea. “Tell Minho I’m sorry.”

The world full of color and pain had become only a memory to him. Thomas welcomed the dark that was waiting to over take his mind, and his body felt weightless, the pressure of the ceiling no longer squeezing his chest, and Teresa’s voice mixed in with shouting became silent.

While surrounded in the black, Thomas had no concept of time. It felt like seconds had passed before a blinding white light snuffed out the black, bringing Thomas to attempt and fill it with the black of his eyelids.

The first thing Thomas felt was something soft, underneath his feet. He didn’t know when he had lost his shoes, but one second they were there, and the next they disappeared. Thomas opened his eyes to try and find out what had happened.

Gates. Tall, metal poles strung together to form a large open gateway. Behind the entrance were people with white billowing wings, dressed in white robes and light blue sashes tied at their hips.

Flashes of color shined through the white, tan and peach, deep brown and red, yellow and black, blue and green. Giggles filled the air, and people had smiles spread across their faces. Everyone looked happy and at ease in this place.

Thomas looked down to see he was in the same attire as everyone else. A blue sash was tied at his hips, and the white robe ended at his ankles. He scanned his skin, which he was almost certain was dirty and bruised, buried under concrete in another life.

In another life.

It hit Thomas like a ton of bricks. But he didn’t feel overwhelmed. A feeling of calmness seeped through his bones instead, and he felt the urge to smile too large, he didn’t push against it. One step after the other brought him closer to the gates.

He stopped himself when he stood in the middle of it all. White puffy clouds seemed to stretch on forever behind him, and if he took a step back he’d be in a world of nothingness. But if he took a step forward, he’d enter the place where people danced in joy for hours, smiles always on their faces.

Thomas took in a large breath before stepping forward, and when he turned around, the gates were gone, and instead were replaced with more people flying in the air, smiles large and skin clean.

He didn’t know what to do now. Suddenly, he felt alone. Even back in his previous life, he had Chuck, Minho, Newt, and Alby to help support him until the end.

Until the end.

Before Thomas could ponder further, prodding deeper into his own dangerous mind, a voice rang out, and it felt as if it shook even the clouds he stood on.

“Thomas!”

He knew that voice. That voice guided him through his first days in the Maze and stuck with him in his nightmares as he dreamed of the little boy he had hoped to save.

Thomas turned around and was met with the image of Chuck flying towards him, two beautiful white wings carrying his chubby body across the puffs of white floor. He felt his smile get even wider, if possible, and he instinctively ran towards Chuck.

He was running. But it felt different. He wasn’t running for his life, he wasn’t trying to avoid any dangers anymore. He was finally running towards something good in his life. And it felt nice to know that he would never run in fear again.

Chuck’s body slammed into his own, causing a slight stumble. But he couldn't care. He felt whole, hugging Chuck like this. He silently wondered if this was what it felt like when an older brother met his younger brother after not seeing him for so long.

Warm arms embraced him, and he returned the favor. He wished they could stay like that forever, holding each other forever, never letting go. 

“It feels like it’s been forever.” Chuck said, his voice muffled in Thomas’s shoulder.

Thomas laughed. “It really does.”

Minutes passed by, or maybe it was only seconds. Thomas didn’t know. However long, he loved it. Sadly, Chuck released his hold on him.

“There’s someone here who’d like to see you again.” Chuck smiled proudly and puffed out his chest slightly, as if he just told Thomas he had beat Minho in a race.

One of Thomas’s eyebrows quirked up. “Who is it?”

Chuck giggled slightly, a glint of happiness and warmth in his eyes, just like always. “Come on, I’ll show you.”

Thomas followed Chuck on foot, passing by many more happy souls. His feet didn’t tire, nor were they sore, and it felt good to Thomas. He felt free.

“Alby!” Chuck called out suddenly, causing Thomas to look away from a happy couple flying in the air, arm and arm, and he looked to see Alby waving to them.

Thomas’s breath hitched when he saw the person next to Alby.

Newt.

His head didn’t look damaged. In fact, it looked just like the first time he met him. Thomas suppressed a small whimper as Newt walked over to them. Thomas noticed the lack of his limp.

“Newt, I-” Thomas began, about to start ranting about how sorry he was that he had done that to him.

“Don’t be sorry. I asked you to, remember?” Newt cut him off, his smile showing off perfectly white teeth.

Before Thomas could respond, Newt pulled him into a hug. Thomas felt tears stinging his eyes, but he wasn’t bothered to care.

They weren’t sad tears.

They were happy ones.


	3. The Cure To A Broken Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Major feels alert

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up. Major feels

Thomas watched with intent eyes as his best friend slowly rose from the ground, clothing crumpled and dirty from their travels across the Last City.

“Newt?” Thomas asked, his voice trembling, already knowing the fate of his friend.

As Newt slowly turned to face him, Thomas could feel dread start to fill his lungs when he looked into the pitch black eyes.

A string of black saliva danged from his chin, his veins highlighted in black, a sign of the infection running through his body.

“Newt, it’s me. It’s me!” Thomas called out, ignoring the blank eyes staring back at him, not a sign of emotion evident anywhere. Thomas could feel his eyes stinging, his vision blurring together at the edges as he tried to bury his emotions, preparing himself for the worst, for what he feared would happen.

Before Thomas could stutter another word, Newt launched his whole body at him, lanky arms at his sides forming the shape of claws, prepared to latch onto Thomas as if his life depended on it.

Without thinking Thomas lunged to the side, Newt missing him only by a hair. He felt his heart pound against his chest at an uneven beat, silently hoping that he wouldn’t have to kill Newt, that he could rely on Minho to get the serum from Brenda before time ran out.

Thomas stared at Newt, who had fallen to the ground due to missing the brown eyed boy in his first attack. Thomas held his hands out in front of his chest, hoping to protect himself from the boy if he were to attack him again. Hope and fear battled his emotions, and he couldn’t decide if he should run away from the fight or try to stall for time.

Newt stumbled a little as he tried to get off the floor, the trail of black saliva falling to the floor in the process. He looked like he was about to get up before he stumbled another time, face mere inches from the floor as he coughed up more of the black goo.

“Tommy, kill me!” Newt called out, before looking back up at the older boy. His eyes looked their normal brown for a moment, the white present as well, before he blinked and suddenly his eyes turned into their full pitch black state again.

When Thomas heard the words Newt had coughed up, he was tempted to kill himself. He couldn’t kill Newt. Not when they had a serum that could cure him. Not when they were so close to walking away from this fight, both of them unharmed.

The older brown haired boy shook his head in slight movements as he watched his best friend push himself from the floor, this time managing to stand up completely. Disbelief filled his dark brown eyes as he watched the other struggle to achieve simple movements.

Newt launched again, hands balled into fists this time, which had small scratch marks and bruises that were barely noticeable against the black veins that also decorated his hands. The young blonde haired boy let out an inhuman noise that made his throat tremble slightly.

This time Thomas was too slow to try and escape, and he was brought down onto the floor, his head slammed against the concrete causing his vision to become dizzy for a few moments. His panic had picked up, causing his heart to form an uneven beat for the second time that night.

Thomas struggled to stop Newt’s hands from clawing at his own, griping Newt’s wrist as a desperate attempt to stop the older boy. He watchedred again, his mouth forming into a small frown, and his eyes showing a shocked look.

“I’m… I’m sorry Tommy.” Newt gasped, causing Thomas to believe that he had finally beat the virus inside his head, that everything would be alright.

“It’s okay.” Thomas replied. He was foolish to think that everything was okay.

He watched in fear as Newt pulled out a gun from the side of his thigh, clicking it, making Thomas think that he was going to be killed. But when Newt pointed the gun to his own head, and he couldn’t decide if dying from his best friend’s hands was worse than watching his best friend kill himself.

“No!” Thomas cried out, eyes wide in shock at his friend’s motions.

In spite of reflex and anxiety, he swatted the gun away from Newt’s hand, sending the gun flying far away from the duo. Newt watched for a second, his eyes widening in shock, before becoming the neutral look like before and turning to face him, letting another inhuman noise escape his throat.

Newt went to strangle Thomas’s throat, only to have Thomas block Newt’s hands with his own. It was obvious Newt was having a mental battle against himself throughout the entire fight. In the moments where his eyes looked normal, and when he pointed the gun to his head, he had won, but had lost over any other control of his own actions. It just proved to Thomas how cruel this virus was.

Thomas hit one of Newt’s elbows, causing the younger to roll across the floor a few feet away from him, giving Thomas time to get up from the position he was in mere seconds ago. When Thomas brought himself to a more comfortable position, he watched with horror as Newt grabbed a knife from one of the pockets of his jacket.

Newt slashed the blade against Thomas’s chest, not able to cut anything because Thomas jumped back a bit in shock. Newt climbed on top of Thomas, pushing him into the same position as earlier. When Newt went to plunge the knife in Thomas’s heart, Thomas tried to use all of his strength to prevent the knife from digging into his chest.

A leg kicked Newt in the back, sending him off to the side. Thomas mustered strength to punch the younger in the face, desperately convincing himself that it wasn’t the Newt he knew. He was in there, somewhere, but right now it was the Flare that was controlling him.

Both of the boys took the opportunity to stand up. Newt was quick to react, knife in his right hand that flung out wildly, trying to slash at Thomas. Thomas could only step back, being pushed further away.

Unfortunately, as a Crank, Newt was stronger, and sometimes faster, meaning that even with his limp, he was able to get even closer to Thomas with every step, until there was nothing left.

When Newt’s body went limp in his arms, time seemed to slow down for Thomas. Thomas felt the tears slowly stream down his face as Newt’s body slumped forward, feeling the handle of the blade against his chest.

And that was it. All of his stalling, desperately trying to hold off until Minho returned, all his efforts to try and come up with ideas to save the only person he loved more than anyone else, had been wasted.

He couldn’t see figures in front of him, couldn’t hear Newt breathing, and couldn’t hear. The only things he felt was his own beating heart pounding louder and louder against his chest.

That is until two hands were placed on his shoulders.

The contact brought him out of his own world. He saw Minho before him, felt the tears rolling down his cheeks, could feel Newt’s limp body at his knees, could feel the floor underneath his legs.

“Thomas. Did you hear me?” Minho asked him, causing Thomas to focus on Minho. Sound had returned to his ears, but his heart was still the loudest sound of it all.

“I said I need your help carrying Newt back to Jorge.”

“What? But Newt’s-” Thomas choked on his own words, not daring to say the word ‘dead’ out loud. He didn’t want to believe it. He killed him. He killed the love of his life. It was all his fault.

“I cured Newt. But he’ll be out, and we don’t have time to wait for him to wake up. We have to go now.” Minho added, before scooping his hands under one of Newt’s armpits to wrap it around his neck.

And that’s when Thomas got a good look at Newt’s face. The dark veins that outlined random points on his face had already started to turn to their original color. Even though his eyes were closed, he didn’t see a dark outline of them like before. But most importantly, his chest was moving up and down at a slow pace.

He was breathing. He’s alive.

Thomas broke out of his stupor and brought Newt’s other hand over his neck, the knife falling down to the floor in the process. He stared at the knife for a moment, his mind drawing a blank, before Minho started walking off.

~o0o~

Thomas woke up to a bright light. He shielded his eyes with his arms, taking the opportunity to scan the area he was in.

When he tried to remember why he was there, everything came crashing down on him. Newt was cured, he killed Jansen in a last attempt to sway Teresa. Teresa died. And now he was in the Safe Haven. It was all too much, and he had to slap his head with his hands to get the memories in order.

He sat on the hammock for a while, not really sure what to do. How would he face everyone? How would he face Minho? Face Brenda. How would he face Newt?

When he heard a shift in what sounded like sheets, he looked up from his hands to see Minho looking at him, a small smile on his face.

“Hey, shuck face. How ya been?” Minho asked, before stepping in front of Thomas.

“There’s a lot to take in.” Was Thomas’s reply. Was Minho upset at him and trying to hide it? Does he not know he almost killed Newt?

“I’ll bet. Come on, you’ve been out for a week. There have been a few people desperate to see you.”

Minho waited for Thomas to stand up before walking out of the hut, a smile still on his face. Thomas hesitated, but trusted Minho to help him.

When Thomas got a view of the outside, he was astounded. Waves crashed along a beach, green grass filled mountains, and people clustered in their own huts and around each other, wide grins on their faces.

Minho turned to face him for a second, stopping Thomas.

“The first person who insisted is in there. Go ahead and take your time. You two have a lot of catching up to do.” Minho smirked, before walking off from the entrance of another hut that was made of wood.

Thomas stood, a little confused, before deciding to walk in the hut.

When he saw the person inside, his breath was taken away.

The black veins from his face had completely disappeared, and there was no trace of his Crank bite. His eyes had returned to their regular warm brown, and his lips were free of any black liquid that had refused to stop seeping from his mouth.

Newt looked as astonished as Thomas felt. The two stood there for a moment, before Newt burst into a wide smile.

“Tommy.”

“Newt.” Thomas responded, his voice cracking mid way through, emotions bubbling inside his chest like a volcano. He had to strangle the urge to pull Newt close and kiss him senseless.

Imagine his surprise when he didn’t have to strangle it for long.

Newt grabbed hold of his wrists before pulling Thomas close to him, and smashing his lips against Thomas’s. Thomas was taken by surprise, no doubt, but he didn’t resist. He moved his hands to Newt’s hips instead, and Newt let go of his wrists before slowly moving them onto Thomas’s shoulders.

The kiss wasn’t very long, and when it ended, both boys had huge grins on their faces.

Before Newt could say anything, it was Thomas’s turn to press their lips together once more, refusing to let go of Newt, in fear that it was all a dream.

It was not.


	4. I'll Text You Forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has a sad ending, sorry. :(

**Thomas**

>Hey Newt, this is Thomas, Minho's friend from school

>How are you?

**Newt**

>Hello Tommy

>I'm doing quite well today, thanks for asking

>How about you?

**Thomas**

>I'm annoyed

>It's the weekend

>Yet my teachers still persist I must do homework

**Newt**

>Ah, yes

>Teachers can be bloody annoying like that

>But out of curiosity

>I have to ask

**Thomas**

>Yes?

**Newt**

>What's your favorite subject?

**Thomas**

>Math

>You?

**Newt**

>Language Arts

>Why do you like math so much?

**Thomas**

>It's fun to me

>Trying to solve puzzles and numbers

>And it makes the most sense

>Why do you like Language Arts?

**Newt**

>I like listening to a lot of poetry

>I like how complex and deep and can get

>And I like how there are so many words you can tie together to describe something

**Thomas**

>Yeah, but usually those words don't make sense

**Newt**

>And your mathematical ones do?

**Thomas**

>Of course!

**Newt**

>Bloody hell Tommy

**Thomas**

>I'm not lying

>They make more sense than your 'deep poetry'

**Newt**

>No they don't

>And do NOT insult my poetry

**Thomas**

>I can and I will 

~~~

**Thomas**

>I’m serious!

**Newt**

>But it’s not true!

**Thomas**

>Yes it is!

**Newt**

>Tommy

>Not it isn’t

**Thomas**

>But

**Newt**

>No

**Thomas**

>So says you!

**Newt**

>Yes!

>So says me!

>Hot chocolate is nothing like tea!

**Thomas**

>Yes it is!

**Newt**

>No, it isn’t

**Thomas**

>And you’re an expert?

**Newt**

>As a matter of fact, I am

**Thomas**

>Since when?

**Newt**

>Since forever

**Thomas**

>I’m calling bull on that

**Newt**

>You can deny all you want

>But it won’t change facts

>Hot chocolate is NOTHING like tea!

**Thomas**

>Yes it is!

**Newt**

>No it isn’t!

**Thomas**

>Yes!

**Newt**

>No! 

~~~

**Thomas**

>Hey Newt?

**Newt**

>What is it?

**Thomas**

>Can I borrow the notes from science?

**Newt**

>Sure

>Why do you need them?

**Thomas**

>One of my friends was sick today, and I forgot my notebook at school

**Newt**

>Oh?

>Which friend?

**Thomas**

>Aris

**Newt**

>The quiet kid that hangs out with Teresa a lot?

**Thomas**

>Yeah

>Him

**Newt**

>Hm

>Isn’t he dating someone?

**Thomas**

>No

>He just moved here a few months ago

>I think you have him confused with Winston

**Newt**

>Oh yeah

>He’s dating Frypan, right?

**Thomas**

>Yeah

**Newt**

>Do you know how things are going with those two shuck heads?

**Thomas**

>Not a clue

>But last I heard they were doing fine

>Besides

>They don’t seem like a couple that will be overly dramatic about things

>They’ll be fine 

~~~

**Newt**

>Tommy

>Meet me under the bleachers in the left side of the football field after track

>I’ll be waiting 

~~~

**Thomas**

>Hey Newt?

**Newt**

>What’s up, ya bloody shank?

**Thomas**

>I have a question for you

**Newt**

>Well then spit it out

>Don’t be a twat about it

**Thomas**

>Not now

>I’ll ask you after school

>Can you meet me at my house at 4?

**Newt**

>Sure

>I’ll see ya then 

~~~

**Thomas**

>Hey Newt

**Newt**

>Yeah?

**Thomas**

>Can you come pick me up?

**Newt**

>Sure

>Where are you?

**Thomas**

>Uh

>At some bus station

>In Utah

>I think

**Newt**

>Oh bloody hell Tommy

>How did you end up all the way there?

**Thomas**

>I dunno

>I was drunk and took a bus

>I blacked out and the next thing I know I wake up on a bench

>Come get me?

**Newt**

>I’ll be there in two hours

>Hang tight

**Thomas**

>I’ll just wait here 

~~~

**Thomas**

>Newt

>Come on

>Please talk to me

>I know you’re still mad

**Newt**

>I’m not mad Tommy

>I’m hurt Thomas

>It was an accident, I swear it!

>I would NEVER intentionally cheat on you

**Newt**

>Intentionally

>Tommy

>This is the second time

**Thomas**

>It won’t happen again

>I was drunk

>Please Newt

>Give me another chance

>Please

**Newt**

>Alright

>But this is your last chance, okay?

>If you blow it

>We’re over

>No other chances

>Understand?

**Thomas**

>I understand

**Newt**

>Good that 

~~~

**Thomas**

>Hey babe

>What time do you need me home?

**Newt**

>5

>Did you forget again Tommy?

**Thomas**

>Maybe

**Newt**

>How’s work?

**Thomas**

>Going good

>I’m taking my lunch break right now

>Alby says hi, by the way

>He misses you

**Newt**

>Tell him I said hi back

>Maybe we should have a reunion soon

>It’s been a while since I’ve seen Minho or Brenda

**Thomas**

>That sounds like a good idea

>I’ll have to ask them when they’re available

**Newt**

>And Tommy?

**Thomas**

>Yeah?

**Newt**

>I love you **Thomas**

>I love you too <3

**Newt**

> <3 

~~~

**Thomas**

>Where are you?

**Newt**

>I’m by the pick-up circle

>Where else would I be?

**Thomas**

>I didn’t see you there

**Newt**

>I literally waved my hands in the air as you pulled by

**Thomas**

>...Ooops?

**Newt**

>Just get over here

**Thomas**

>I’m coming I’m coming 

~~~

**Thomas**

>I just got the news

>How do you feel?

**Newt**

>I’m happy for her

>Harriet has been really good to her

**Thomas**

>I’m glad to hear it

>So I’m assuming you’ll be a bridesman or whatever

**Newt**

>Yeah

>I’ll be walking her down the aisle

**Thomas**

>I’m glad you’re still close to her

>I know if I ever had a younger sister

>It’d be hard to keep in touch with her when she’s on a different continent

**Newt**

>Yeah

>I have to go Tommy

>I’ll talk to you later

**Thomas**

>Bye Newt 

~~~

**Thomas**

>Hey Newt

>I know you won’t respond anymore

>But I just need to do this

>As closure

>I miss you

>I miss you more than you probably ever realized

>It’s been a tough few months

>Sonya is still grieving

>Refuses to even touch a car

>She’s giving Harriet a rough time

>But I don’t blame her

>I just want you to know

>That I love you

>I love you so much

>I wake up every morning, expecting you to be there right next to me

>And I have to remind myself time and time again

>That you’re not there because you left

>It’s a painful reminder everyday

>Seeing people look so happy with their loved ones

>Looking like the world could never possibly separate them

>But I know now the harsh truth >And I’m sorry it had to be you

>But before I get rid of this phone

>I need to ask you a few questions

>I know you would want me to move on

>But how do I know when the right time is to move on?

>How do I move on

>When you were the love of my life

>Tell Chuck and I said hi

>And tell my dad I forgive him

>I love you Newt

>With love

>Tommy <3


	5. All Things Come To An End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, I didn't intend my break to last 10 shucking days, only a week. But apparently my feelings refuse to be okay until after the 7 day mark, so I managed to write this within an hour. 
> 
> Warning: Sadness EVERYWHERE

“Tell me about him again.” The little girl said, sitting on the chair besides Thomas. She had long black hair like her father, and tan skin like her mother. The sight of her made Thomas smile. She always loved listening to his stories, no matter how depressing.

“He was the love of my life. An angel sent from the Heavens. I always believed he was sent down here to protect me. But not everything lasts forever, and everyone has to die at some point.” Thomas explained, a sad smile stretched across his lips as he looked at the crashing waves in the ocean.

“Just like Uncle Gally?” The little girl asked, her face serene, as she too looked out at the ocean.

Thomas chuckled sadly. “Yes, just like Uncle Gally.” 

He still remembered watching Minho carve Gally’s name onto the rock, right next to Ben’s name. It hurt his heart remembering the painful reminder that yet another Glader was gone. But at least he still had Minho. 

Thomas watched as the waves overlapped themselves, and listened to the peaceful sounds of the roaring waters rise above the noise of the people in the village behind his small hut he sat in front of. It was a place where Thomas spent most of his time thinking. And just wasting time in general. Ever since he came to the Safe Haven, he felt broken, empty.

Which was understandable. He had watched Teresa, his best friend die. He watched his little brother Chuck die. And he killed the love of his life. He still doesn’t think he deserves this place, but he’s determined to live as long as possible to give their sacrifices a meaning. If he died because he killed himself, their deaths would be pointless. He couldn’t die knowing that.

“When did you start liking him?” The 10 year old asked, her long hair being brushed away from her face by one of her hands. Thomas looked at her bright blue eyes. Where she got those from he never knew, considering both Minho and Brenda’s eyes were brown.

“Well that has two different answers. When did I realize my feelings for him, or when did I start to grow feelings for him. Which do you want to know?” Thomas asked, before looking out back at the ocean waves, that seemed to have gotten bigger.

“Tell me both.” The little girl said, shifting her position on the chair so that she could swing her legs back and forth. In her hands was a piece of string that she grew fond of. It belonged to her honorary grandfather's favorite jacket. He too had passed.

“Well, I finally came to my senses a few nights after we arrived at the Safe Haven. I guess I was always so busy trying to break out of mazes and escape from WICKED, that I never gave my feelings other than sadness and anger attention. And thinking back on everything I went through, that was pretty stupid of me.”

Thomas looked down at his lap after finishing the last sentence, trying to calm himself down and tell him that Newt wouldn’t want him to think like that. He tried to fight back the tears threatening to spill out of his brown eyes.

“And when did you actually fall in love with him?” Nina asked Thomas, her voice soft.

“The day he told me that nothing mattered. The only thing that mattered was what we did. That’s when I realized that I liked him. But when I realized I loved him…” Thomas trailed off, a tear falling down his cheek and onto his fiddling hands.

Nina didn’t say anything for a long time, and Thomas was truly grateful for that. For her. He was happy that his friends could move on, and was happy that they got to raise someone as amazing as the little girl sitting next to him right this very moment. She was the only one who would listen to his stories without cutting in. She was the only one who cared enough to listen and comfort him. 

“I realized I loved him when I knew I was going to lose him. When he started to deteriorate before my eyes, and I didn’t know what to do, I felt so broken. I knew what the consequences to losing him were like. And I didn’t want to lose him. If I could I would even trade places with him. He never deserved to die. He was the only person in the whole world that made me feel like I could do something, even when I knew there was no hope.”

Many more tears fell down Thomas’ face, and he didn’t try to force them down. Ever since he felt Newt’s life drain from his body, he never knew he could feel so broken and so alone inside. He still doesn’t know what to do with himself, how to move on when the only person he’s ever loved had left him so early. Too early.

Thomas clenched his hands into fists, gripping onto parts of his shirt as he let the tears and choked sobs come from his mouth. It hurt him so much to relive all the memories, knowing that he couldn’t make anymore with Newt. And he felt like there was a deep hole in his heart. 

Nina sat there and silently watched, rubbing his back with her small hands and just trying to support Thomas. She always loved to hear the stories about Newt, and loved to hear how in love Thomas sounded whenever he talked about the man. And she knew that Thomas was still grieving, still hurting. But her Aunt Sonya always said that talking things out was a much better way to cope than bury your feelings and keeping them locked away.

The two stayed like that for a while, until Thomas calmed down and felt tired enough to fall asleep. He sent Nina off to her parents before Minho came to look for her, and fell asleep in his hammock that night dreaming of a future with Newt.

But that’s all it will be. A dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are expecting any future chapters to be fluffy, and happy, you have come to the wrong author and book my friends. Obviously not everything will be depressing, but majority or it will. 
> 
> And if this chapter sucks, please inform me so I may throw myself off a bridge.


	6. To Comfort A God

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This would have been published a whole lot sooner if I hadn't tried to look up mythology based off the story of Hades and Persephone.
> 
> By the way, almost anything you find on Google will only attack other myths that you will later find. It's very messy.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Hades - Thomas  
> Persephone - Newt  
> Zeus - Gally  
> Hera - Ben  
> Demeter - Alby  
> Aphrodite - Teresa  
> Ares- Brenda

__

_"Newt." A voice called out in the distance. Newt felt it rumble in his chest, vibrate every molecule in his body, felt the way it left tingles on his skin. He looked around at the flowers, HIS flowers, but couldn't find the source._

_"Newt, come here." The voice said again. This time it was much less deeper, and he remembered it. It was his father, telling him to come to him._

_"I'm just finishing up, papa." Newt said, cupping his delicate pale hands together before thinking of a brunnera, and the flower popping up in his hands. Newt smiled at the flower, loving the way the color blue looked._

_"Newt," his father called out, before grabbing hold of Newt's chin lightly, moving it to face him. Alby, the god of agriculture, Newt's father, had stone cold brown eyes that could make even Gally whimper ever so slightly. "You've been working so hard today, so I thought I'd give you a present." Alby smiled down at Newt, causing excitement to bubble in the child's chest._

_"R-really?" Newt managed to ask, barely managing to contain his excitement. Alby nodded, before using his hands to guide Newt by his right shoulder. They passed by many different flowers. From bleeding heart flowers all the way to red roses, the path contained many different lovely shades of color that Newt could look at forever._

_When the pair stopped, the first thing Newt saw was a giant greenhouse sitting in the middle of a field filled with flowers._

_"Oh my!" Newt squealed. "Is this greenhouse really for me?"_

_"Absolutely! You earned it." Alby smiled. Before he could say anything else, however, Newt dashed into the greenhouse, laughter bubbling in his throat and tickling his chest. He didn't remember a time when he had been so happy._

_When he found himself directly in the center, Newt closed his eyes and concentrated on all the flowers he wanted in his own greenhouse. He wanted blue roses, clematis', anemone, tulips, cosmos, carnations, cherry blossoms, zinnia's, violas, perrywinkles, gardenia's, and more. He loved the sight of them all together, and it made him feel cozy._

_"I think I'm done." Newt whispered to himself, before feeling ready to go out to continue his work. But when he turned around, he couldn't find the door he came through. He started to freak out a little, trying to walk along the ridges of the greenhouse to try and find an exit. To no avail._

_"I took the doors away." The deep rumbling voice had returned, and Newt started to panic. He couldn't escape. His own father had locked him in a false safe haven. The voice echoed in the walls, causing Newt to become paranoid._

_"W-what?" He managed to gasp out, pulling and tugging at his blonde locks as he tried to find something that wasn't a flower or a window to more flowers. The colors seemed to blur together for him, and the slight shaking of the greenhouse wasn't helping him._

_"Newt, I know this may seem cruel, but it's for the best." Alby's voice called out, causing the structure to shake even more, sending Newt into a full on panic attack. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he focused on the floor, his hands clenching his golden hair, his legs jelly and his arms weak muscles._

_Newt let out a guttural cry of rage and agony, sealing his eyes shut, hoping that if he blocked out his vision, he could block out the noise of his father's voice as well. Unfortunately, it didn't work. Newt barely registered the fact that he fell sideways onto the cold hard floor and was now curled up in a ball, sobbing as he tugged at his hair._

_"When you're in here, no one can hurt you." Alby said, before the vibrating had stopped and the echoes of his deep voice were all but silent. The only thing that was still affected was Newt himself, still huddled in a ball desperately hoping his father would let him out of this cage. Of his prison. It wasn't his safe haven, it was something he was forced to live in._

"NO ONE!"

Newt woke up with a start, screaming as he remembered the awful nightmare. It had felt as if he relived that moment, and he could still feel Alby's voice rumbling the inside of his chest. Tears were still falling down his cheeks, and his vision was blurry. 

Newt didn't notice the God that sat before him, a concerned look on his face as he wiped away the remaining tears, trying to control his ragged breathing. It took awhile for the God of vegetation to recollect himself and his thoughts, and when he finally did, he then noticed the God sitting before him.

At first he couldn't register who it was, but then reality hit him and he lurched to his husband and snaked his arms around his neck, trying to take in everything. Tears threatened to spill once again, but he tried to keep himself even. It wasn't often that Newt had nightmares, or often that he even cried, but when he did, Thomas was always there.

"Another nightmare?" The King of the Underworld asked, rubbing small and gentle circles against his husband's back in a soothing manner. Over time he learned techniques on how to soothe people with PTSD, mainly from Teresa, Goddess of love and beauty. If not for her, Thomas would still be trying to bury his feelings for Newt.

Newt nodded into Thomas's neck, still refusing to let go. Secretly, Thomas loved these moments. The ones where they weren't too busy and he was the one comforting Newt, not the other way around. It made him feel worthy of Newt's love. He knew he was the only one who could calm him down, and he is totally okay with that.

Thomas pressed a gentle kiss to Newt's forehead before squeezing Newt together, trying to send his lover the message that he will always be there for him. No matter what. 


	7. Merry Newtmas <3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Literally tooth rotting fluff. All fluff. Because with all these angsty fics, we deserve some Newtmas cheer!
> 
> Merry Christmas, if you celebrate it. And a Happy New Year!
> 
> Fingers crossed 2021 is much better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Due to my birthday being exactly week away from Christmas day, I'm not sure if I'll have time to update before 2020 ends.

The sound of giggling filled the silence in the small household. Delicate wooden planks made up the flooring of the hallway to the front door, and smooth silvery tile created the kitchen flooring. The stairs were carpeted with a deep tan color, as is the rest of the second floor. Flour decorated random spots of the kitchen flooring, balls of soft white powder being a sign of the cookie making process.

“Tommy,” Newt giggled softly, trying hard to stay focused on decorating the cooled sugar cookie that sat in front of him, “I need to finish decorating these cookies before Sonya comes to pick them up.”

Behind Newt stood Thomas, who had buried his head into the blonde’s neck with a fond smile on his face, lightly tickling Newt’s right side with one hand, the other wrapped strongly around his waist. Newt set down the frosting and used both his hands to try and swat at Thomas’s hand, only for the brunette to start tickling with his other hand.

Thomas loved hearing the slight shift in Newt’s breathing, hitched and cut off. He loved watching his chocolate brown eyes get lighter as his mood shifted into something lighter, something less stressed. He knew how often Newt would work himself to the bone, caring for everyone around him and never making time for himself. Thomas tried to make time for Newt, but there were moments where he also wanted to be present in these peaceful moments.

“C’mon, you’ve been working since eight in the morning. Try to relax a little.” Thomas encouraged, tickling his sides even more, his calloused fingers dancing over Newt’s hips as he tried to get his husband to loosen up. 

Newt let out a huff that blew his bangs out of his eyes before crossing his arms and forming his cherry pink lips into a pout. “I just need to finish making the cookies before Sonya and Harriet come over to pick them up. THEN I will bloody relax.”

Thomas hesitated, debating whether he should stop or not, but the pout on his lips and the crinkles of his skin under his dark brown eyes filled with worry was enough to convince him to leave the blonde be. He sighed in defeat before stopping his fingers, then wrapping his long arms around Newt’s thin stomach and shifting his head so that his chin was resting on Newt’s shoulder.

“Do you promise?” Thomas asked, a small pout of his own adorning his face. He watched Newt’s lips form into a small smile, his wrinkles changing shape as his eyes turned a shade lighter. The smile was only a whisper of what is his usual grin, but it was still ever present, and Thomas could still see it.

“I promise Tommy.” Newt affirmed, before uncrossing his arms to rest his hands on top of his own. Thomas’ eyes caught the glint of light reflecting off Newt’s silver band on his left ring finger, and even after two years of marriage, he still couldn’t believe he had managed to get this far with his best friend.

“Pinky promise?” Thomas asked, his pout turning childlike as he lifted his right finger in the air from under Newt’s hands. The brunette watched the blonde’s expression morph from one of a small fondness to amusement. 

“Are you bloody six, Tommy?” Newt asked, a smirk taking over his soft lips as he looked sideways at Thomas, who’s smile only brighted.

Tommy. He loved it when Newt called him that. He’s gotten many nicknames over the years, only one reserved for his twin sister. It was always nicknames that made him feel stupid. Shuck face, greenie, shank, Tom, but none of the nicknames compared to the one Newt gave him when they were only 10 years old.

It was so wholly Newt, such a nice gesture, even if he didn’t realize it was. Whenever he used the name, Thomas melted inside and he felt like he was on a cloud. He never used the name with a disgusted tone, never used it to tell Thomas he had done something wrong. He used it just because he could, and Thomas never let anyone else call him Tommy.

“Mentally or physically?” Thomas retorted, causing Newt’s smirk to borderline one of mischief. Those smirks did something to Thomas’ insides, even to this day. Even after three years of dating and two years of being legally married, and 10 years of friendship, Newt could still make Thomas feel butterflies pop in his stomach.

He liked to think he still did the same thing to Newt.

Instead of answering, Newt took his left pinky and hooked it with Thomas’ right one, the mischievous smile never leaving his face as Thomas retreated back to the couch in the living room, where he had been reading one of his favorite dystopian novels.

However, instead of reading, he watched Newt as he baked. He watched as the blonde rolled out the dough, stuck out his tongue in concentration as he worked on frosting the already baked cookies, watched as he swiftly changed trays of baked cookies with ones that were ready to slide in the oven. Thomas pushed his black reading glasses up his nose a few times, ones he had previously abandoned on the coffee table when he tried to convince Newt to take a break.

Newt’s fluid movements only made Thomas’ heart pound faster, and he knew a small blush was visible on his cheeks, and he could feel his fond smile frame his lips as he watched his husband change between decorating, changing trays, and rolling out dough before pressing cookie cutters into it. But he couldn’t be bothered to care. He loved Newt, and had since the day he met him. And he knew Newt felt the same way.

When Newt had finished frosting all the cookies, he carefully placed the cookies in Christmas tins they had bought at Walmart a few days ago. Harriet and Sonya still had about another 15 minutes before they had said they would come, and after Newt looked at the time, he looked at Thomas, the smirk still adorning his lips.

Looking back at it, Thomas could say that even though all Christmas Eve’s had a special place in his heart, that Christmas Eve was one of his favorites. Thomas wouldn’t change a thing.


	8. Happy New Year

Newt doesn’t know why he even tries to convince Minho to not drag him to parties anymore. It’s pointless and they both know it, yet still the blonde persists every time Minho brings up the subject, that he doesn't want to go. Especially not this night, because tonight was New Year’s Eve. Tonight he ESPECIALLY didn’t want to go.

The last time he went to a party things almost went so South it scared the life out of Newt. He was so close to confessing his crush to Thomas, which he always blames on the alcohol. Newt still burns red in embarrassment thinking about it. He vowed to never touch alcohol again if he could help it. He didn’t want to risk anything.

“Well it’ll have to pop out eventually” Minho would always tell him. The ebony haired man still regretted bursting in on Newt and Thomas right before Newt was about to make his grand confession, but Newt was so thankful he would never be able to put his gratitude in words.

It’s been a struggle for the entire gang these past few years. Ever since sophomore year, when Thomas had moved to Denver from California, Newt has been silently crushing on him from the sidelines. Literally. Minho would offer an invitation to Newt to every track meeting to let his friend get an opportunity to watch the american boy race across the track.

Once again, Newt would never be able to put his gratitude towards Minho in words. The two have been friends since fifth grade, Minho sticking up for him after Gally pushed him off a swing. The three have gotten over the bullying incident, but there was still some awkward air between them at times. However, Gally has been able to redeem himself. Especially to Minho.

“I’ve said it before, and I’ll bloody say it again. I’m not going to the party with you.” Newt replied to the begging Minho, the blonde’s eyes glued to the book that sat in his hands, trying so hard to not look into his best friend's eyes. He knows once he does, he won’t be able to say no. 

“Come on Newt. You’ve only ever been to your classroom to teach and your house to complete the first draft of your book. Take a break and come to the party tonight. I want you to meet some of my work friends.” Minho insisted, still trying to break Newt.

But Minho also wasn’t an idiot. One of his work friends included Thomas, and he knew his friend well enough to know that Newt wouldn’t want to be caught dead with alcohol in his system while being in the same building as Thomas. Probably even the same continent. 

“I’m not going, and that’s final.” Newt firmly said, before going to gently turn to the next page.

“You don’t even have to drink. All you have to do is show up so I can at least introduce you to some of my friends. I’ve been bragging about you and your new book for weeks, and they’re all desperate to meet you. Please Newt.” Minho begged, scraping the bottom of the pan with ideas on how to convince his best friend. To come to the party.

Newt sighed in defeat, before placing a bookmark in between the pages and setting the book down on the coffee table in his living room. Without a word he headed for his room and slung an aviator’s jacket on and put on some work boots he had gotten at Salvation Army. He figured if he was only going in for a few minutes the skinny jeans and plain green t-shirt he was wearing would be fine.

The ride in the car was silent, with the occasional dialogue coming from Minho, who had tried to start a conversation multiple times. Minho knew his best friend well, however, and shut up after the fourth attempt. He knew that Newt was mentally preparing himself for when he was supposed to meet his crush and best friend, Thomas. It’s been a little while since the two met up and really talked, between the holiday season and work.

The party was a hit. Once Minho and Newt had arrived, the first thing they smelled was the overwhelming scent of alcohol coming off in waves. Minho already had an empty glass in his hand by the time the pair got two feet into the room. The raven haired man went to go find a second one, leaving Newt alone to find them a table.

Newt didn’t mind, this was their usual routine. Minho would be half drunk 10 minutes into the party and Newt would only have a few sips before he tried to pull his best friend off a table, from which he would be dancing on, or out of a chugging competition. Occasionally he would find his friend hitting on other people, but currently he was dating Gally, so he knew that wouldn’t happen.

What he didn’t know would happen was that Thomas was waiting for Newt to appear. It’s been awhile since the two best friends talked. It was really hard to manage time. Newt obviously had more time on his hands than Thomas did, as seeing he was an art teacher at a college only 20 minutes away from his and Minho’s shared apartment, whereas Thomas practically lived in his office working on science engineering. Though recently Newt has been busy himself because he was finally in the work of getting his first book published.

“Hey Newt!” Thomas called out to the blonde when he spotted him from his table, waving him down. Newt smiled and tried to hide his blush as he made his way over to the brunette, who was sitting at a small table alone.

“Hey Tommy. How’ve you been?” Newt asked when he settled down on the chair next to Thomas after slinging his aviator jacket over the back of his chair. 

“Good.” Thomas replied cheerily before taking a sip of the vibrant pink drink in front of him.

“It’s been a while Tommy. How’s Chuck?” Newt asked, bringing his chair slightly closer to Thomas than necessary. It’s not that they haven’t sat next to each other before, and it certainly won’t be the last time they do so, but now that both Thomas and Newt had realized their feelings for each other, it felt nice, but also strange. 

“He’s been good. Good grades, making new friends, the usual. How about Sonya? What’s she up to?” Thomas fired back, trying hard to keep his blush to a minimum as he felt Newt’s shoulder move next to his own.

“She’s majoring in marine biology right now. The bloody thing is obsessed with aquatic animals for whatever reason.” Newt answered, rubbing his fingers together in order to try and not focus on the way Thomas’ brown eyes glittered when he was happy and the way his lips quirked up slightly more on the left than the right.

“That sounds awesome. I hope she’s doing well.”

“Well she’s also dating someone too,” Newt added, ignoring the way Thomas choked on his drink, “I think her name’s Harriet.”

“Oh. Uh, good for her. Tell her I said congratulations?” Thomas shly asked, placing his almost empty drink back on the table while recovering from nearly choking on his drink.

“I will. So how are you Tommy, really? Anyone you interested in?” Newt cooly asked, trying hard to keep his voice steady. Thomas’ eyes widened at the question.

“Um, well, yeah, I do, but I don’t really think he’d be interested in me.” Thomas laughed nervously, rubbing the nape of his neck as he stared at the drink that sat on the table in front of him. He knew if he made eye contact with Newt, he’d spill all his secrets, especially the one about his crush on his best friend he’s been hiding for years.

“Well I think he’d be a bloody fool to not find you interesting.”

This piqued Thomas’ interest. “I’m not really sure. I mean, I’m clumsy, I’m not always the smartest or brightest person at times, I’m terrible at remembering things, and I don’t really have any time for dating, much less myself.”

“So you’re just gonna hide your feelings for the poor brute instead of at least try?” Newt asked, silently shushing the part of his brain that told him he was being a hypocrite. 

“Well, yeah. It’s only for the best that way. And who knows, maybe I’m saving myself from heartache. I doubt he even likes me.” 

“Tommy,” Newt spoke up, looking over to his best friend, trying to meet the brunette’s gaze, “as your best friend, let me give you some advice. Don’t wait ro open up to him. He’ll love you anyways if he’s the right guy. We don’t have forever, so stop being a twat about it and just tell him how you feel. Who knows, he might like you back.”

Newt had a painful smile on his face as he told his best friend the advice, trying desperately to hide away the hopes of him being Thomas’ crush. He knew he wouldn’t be anything more than a friend to Thomas, and he’s trying really hard to accept that. Has been for a while. But it’s still painful nonetheless.

Thomas smiled, and Newt could see hope shimmer in his deep brown orbs. Newt always caught himself staring more than he should at those eyes, but they always caught him off guard, and always reeled him in. When Thomas was happy they would turn to a lighter brown, when he was upset, they would almost be black. If he was sad, they would glimmer with a darker shade, and if he was in a mischievous mood, they would always twinkle in the light. 

What they say is true. Eyes really are the windows to the soul.

Newt’s breath hitched when he could see the distance between him and Thomas lessen as the brunette leaned in, and he felt butterflies pounding against his stomach as he too leaned in, his eyes fluttering shut. Hope began to swell in his chest as he felt one of Thomas’ calloused hands cup the side of his cheek. Distantly he could hear people buzz in excitement as the countdown was about to start.

“5!”

“Hey Newt?”

“4!”

“Yeah?”

“3!”

“Can I kiss you?”

“2!”

“Bloody hell Tommy.”

“1!”

“Is that a…”

“Happy New Year!” The people surrounding the couple shouted. Newt didn’t pay them any mind, however, instead focused on the way Thomas kissed him, the way his chapped lips tickled his own soft ones. He could distantly hear Minho laughing and saying something, but instead relished in the feeling of Thomas dragging his hands across his upper torso in fluid motions.

Thomas was satisfied with his answer. He was satisfied with kissing Newt. He was satisfied with being with Newt. He was satisfied with Newt. He’s dreamt about this moment for years, different scenarios on their first kiss he thought would never happen. He knew Newt was gay, but he didn’t consider the fact his best friend would like him in that way.

The two split, wide smiles on their faces as their foreheads met one another, both desperately trying to get air back into their lungs. 

“Does that answer your question, Tommy?” Newt asked.

Tommy. Thomas’ heart lurched at the nickname. He always loved hearing Newt call him that. And only Newt. It was special to him, unlike the others, and entirely different. He loved it.

Instead of answering Newt’s question, Thomas grabbed the collar of Newt’s shirt and pulled him in for a much rougher kiss, trying to limit how large his smile was so he could actually kiss the blonde. Newt didn’t hesitate to kiss back.

When the two pulled away a second time, Thomas looked directly into Newt’s eyes, a grin spread on his face. “Yes. It does.”

Newt pulled him in again.


	9. Left In Ruins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I got this idea from reading the book series Renegades.
> 
> W.I.C.K.E.D stands for 
> 
> World  
> In  
> Chaos  
> Kill  
> Exceptional  
> Delinquents

As long as Thomas could remember, he had worked for W.I.C.K.E.D. His grandmother, Ava Paige, was in charge of the entire organization that attempted to bring the world back together after the 3rd World War that killed off both his parents.

Thomas didn’t know much about his parents. He was only six years old when they died, but knew that they were one of the Exceptionals. 

Exceptionals are bad people. Or so what he’s been told his entire life. W.I.C.K.E.D is good, Exceptionals are bad. He’s heard that so many times, he could recite it in a coma.

For a long time, his life was pretty dull. From the age of six, his grandmother took him in and raised him only by drowning him in studies. He learned much about science, math, and history. Not much English, but he was always told he didn’t need to learn literature.

And then he met Newt. He was sixteen years old when the blonde had started serving at the coffee shop near W.I.C.K.E.D’s facility, and Thomas fell head over heels very quickly.

He liked Newt. A lot. He was too scared to call it love, but he knew in his heart it could be love if they continue dating like they have in the past year.

He loved listening to his angelic laugh, loved to see Newt smile, liked his honey blonde hair and his chocolate brown eyes, and adored his sense of humor and love for literature. Thomas swore Newt was his other half. In areas Thomas lacked, Newt filled in the gap. And it worked the other way as well.

Being apart from Newt hurt him, in ways he would never care to admit, and when his shift at W.I.C.K.E.D ended, the first thing he would do was go to the Glade coffee shop and get a hug (sometimes a coffee as well) from the blonde.

Today he planned to be another one of those days, where he would finish the paperwork he was getting paid to go over, and then stop by at the coffee shop before heading home, where he would wait for Newt’s shift to end so they could be with one another.

That is, until Janson came up to him with a file from his grandmother herself.

Janson dropped the file onto his desk and walked away without a word, the usual scowl on his face still there. Thomas opened the file as soon as he left.

**Height** **5’10**

**Eyes** **Unknown**

**Hair** **Unknown**

**Weight** **Unknown**

**Name** **Unknown**

**Alias** **Echo**

**Status** **Exceptional**

**Abilities** **Teleportation**

**Weapons** **Machete** **Bo Staff**

On a little yellow sticky note, were two words in big bold letters.

**_Kill him_ **

* * *

It snowed the day he killed Echo. 

Thomas had been alerted of a recent sighting of the Exceptional, and before he knew it he was racing across rooftops using special gear that helped him glide across the snow covered buildings without falling.

On his back was a high-tech rifle that had five heavy duty bullets specifically designed to piece through any type of metal. Which should include the helmet that Echo wore.

What brought Echo to Thomas’s attention was the design of his suit. Of course, the file had provided pictures of what Echo’s costume design looked like, but up close it looked much more sharp, more lively.

Echo’s midnight black suit was obviously meant to blend into the night, and he knew from rumors about the Exceptional that the vibrant blues and reds outlining parts of his suit were meant to change to black in the dark as well. Stylish and skillful. Thomas had to give the guy credit.

But he had to stop thinking about it. Thomas swung the rifle from his back and into his arms, and prepared to shoot the guy in the head. Echo was currently waving at a few citizens he had just helped, and was clearly about to take off.

Thomas inhaled, closing his eyes and counting to three, before pulling the trigger.

When his eyes were opened, he saw he had been victorious. Echo is dead. Now he had to retrieve the body and take him back to W.I.C.K.E.D, where they would most likely use his body to study what made Exceptionals exceptional.

As soon as Thomas had reached the dead body, dread started to fill his stomach. This hasn’t been the first time he was forced to kill an Exceptional, but this time felt different. He didn’t know why.

Until he removed the helmet from Echo- no, Newt’s- head.

Thomas felt numb. He stared down at his now dead boyfriend’s face, trying to process what he had just done.

It was too much to comprehend. He had just killed Newt. The person he had slowly started to fall in love with. He killed the only person in the world that had been there for him day in and day out.

He killed the only person who gave his life meaning.

Anger and pain filled his stomach, and he wanted to scream in rage, cry until he couldn’t, and beg- plead- for Newt to wake up.

He could only stare at the blood that trickled out of his head and stained the snow beneath it. Watched Newt’s chest, hoping for the stillness to go away so he could breathe.

He wanted this to be a sick joke. A nightmare. Anything that wasn’t reality. It was too much.

Too much.

Tears blurred his vision of the angelic face that formed smiles that always warmed his heart. He felt his heart clench, and he let broken sobs escape his lips.

_ What have I done? WHAT HAVE I DONE!?  _

And then he remembered who gave him this assignment. 

His grandmother.

She knew it was him. Everything was flooding into his head. He knew he should have looked deeper into the files when some of the information looked like it had been white outed.

She knew all along that he was going to kill his boyfriend.

And she didn’t stop him.

* * *

Thomas stormed into the center of the first floor, rage flooding his veins. He knew he looked like crap, his hair flying in all directions, his eyes red and puffed, his cheeks red, and his hand stained from his boyfriend’s blood.

“Where’s Ava Paige?” He called out to the workers on the first floor, that stopped everything so that they could stare at him, eyes wide. 

After a moment of silence, Thomas cried out again.

“I asked you where Ava Paige is. Now answer me!”

One of the workers, Teresa, her name badge read, took a step closer to him, her black hair hiding one of her crystal blue eyes.

“I can ask for her presence if you need.” She explained, her fingers fiddling with each other, as if it were a nervous habit.

“I need her to explain a few things to me.” Thomas grumbled. Teresa nodded and walked over to the desk to ask for his grandmother.

Everyone stood in silence for two whole minutes before the elevator brought Ava down.

“What is going on here?” Ava asked, her voice soft and firm, as always.

“I need you to tell me what I did to deserve this.” Thomas replied, only to receive a curious glance from his grandmother. 

“Deserve what, Thomas?”

“You made me kill him.” Thomas whispered. He wasn't sure if anyone heard.

Ava’s eyes softened. “I don’t know what you’re talking-”

“Don’t lie to me! You know EXACTLY what I’m talking about.” Thomas yelled, pointing an accusing finger at the woman.

“Thomas-”

“No! You know how much he meant to me! You knew that we were dating!”

“He was an Exceptional.”

“There should be nothing wrong about being an Exceptional!”

Everyone was silent. The only noise was from the clock ticking away the seconds that passed.

“Thomas, you know very well-”

“You know my parents were Exceptionals! You knew that they were good people! So why do you do it?”

“Because we need to know what makes them-”

“No you don’t!” Thomas screamed, slamming his fists on one of the tables near him, causing several people to jump in surprise at his outburst.

“Thomas, your feelings are clouding your judgement.”

The brunette laughed. “You would like me to think that, wouldn’t you? But guess what, Paige? W.I.C.K.E.D is NOT good! It never was!”

“If you would just listen, Thomas.”

“No! You listen to me. All this time you’ve been hunting Execptionals, killing them for your own personal gain of knowledge. But they were actual people. They had lives, people they loved. People that loved them!”

Everyone was too shocked to answer him.

“Thomas-”

“I’m burning this place to the ground.” Thomas revealed, holding up a trigger device in his hand that he knew connected to bombs he had set up in the building when he was trying to clear his head of what he had done to Newt.

“Thomas.” Ava warned, her eyes hardening. 

“Any last words, Paige?”

“Think about what you’re doing.”

“I’ll take that as a no.”

With his heart already in the black abyss, Thomas pulled the trigger.


	10. Don't Die For Me

Thomas woke up, sweat collecting on his forehead and salty tears mixing in with it, rolling down his face in small streams. His brown hair was sticking up in all different directions, and his big doe eyes were blown wide as he tried to recover from the nightmare.

His breath was uneven, and he covered his thumping heart with his right hand to try and tell himself that he’s alive.

_ But Newt isn’t. _

Fresh tears pooled in his brown eyes when the thought came to him, but he tried to shove it in the back of his head. It’s only been a week since they’ve come to the Safe Haven, but it didn’t feel like a haven to the brunette. Not without the blonde angel that he loved with his entire heart.

Thomas had enough. He was sick and tired of waking up every morning, expecting to see Newt and his shoulder length hair, that he was always tempted to brush from his deep brown eyes, that would turn into a shade of ember in the firelight. He wanted this nightmare to come to an end. He just wanted to see Newt and tell him how much he loved him.

Regret has always been with Thomas, ever since the banishing of Ben, it started as a little marble in the center of his gut, and just grew larger with every death. But Newt’s death only tripled the size of the massive marble in his gut, and he couldn’t take it anymore. The marble had taken over his body, and he felt like lead. A dead weight. 

It was a struggle to even try and move on for the week. He kept reminding himself that they knew what they were getting themselves into, that Teresa and Chuck and Alby, and basically everyone else knew the costs of escaping the Maze and taking down W.I.C.K.E.D for good.

A small sob escaped his lips as images of his friends flooded his mind. He stopped walking, his feet planted on the dirt road that he had walked to from his hut, trying to clear his head. But it seemed impossible. Trying to forget your dead loved ones, trying to convince yourself that you weren’t at fault, even though they followed you until the end.

But it still seemed too much. His shoulders sagged as he carried on, towards one of the mountains that stood proudly by the seaside. Oh how little Thomas knew.

Meanwhile, Newt was watching over him, a quizzical expression molded on his facial features as he watched the brunette, trying to examine him to figure out what was wrong.

The more Thomas continued his venture to the edge of the cliff, the more Newt grew concerned. He wanted to push away all the negative thoughts and feelings, wanted to bury any worry he had for his friend, but he couldn’t. The closer Thomas got, the more the anxiety clawed at Newt’s chest. He felt like he was going to scream.

Thomas looked down at the sea, tears freely falling down his cheeks. He watched as the waves overlapped one another in the early morning, the moon still glowing a faint white.

“I’m sorry Newt.” Thomas whispered, what he thought was to himself. It’s not like he could have known Newt was watching over him, even if he was dead.

“Tommy, think about what you’re doing.” Newt pleaded, as his ghostly figure tried to place a hand on his shoulder.

“I failed us.” 

“No you didn’t Tommy. You got all of these people this far. You did amazing.” Newt tried to comfort him, even though he knew Thomas couldn’t hear a single word.

“I couldn’t save you.” Thomas choked out, another sob escaping his pink lips mid-sentence. 

“I never asked you to, you know that.”

“I never got to tell you how I feel.” Thomas cried out, clutching his hands at his sides as more tears fell. Newt wrapped his arms around Thomas, hoping he could at least feel some warmth.

“You’re not the only one who never got to explain. It’s not your fault.”

“I don’t want to live without you anymore. I can’t, it hurts me too much.”

“Tommy-” Newt warned.

“I just want to see you again.”

“No.”

“I’m gonna do it.”

“Don’t you dare-”

Thomas took a step closer. One more step and he’d be falling off the cliff. A sure and swift death.

“Tommy-”

Thomas chuckled to himself. “I didn’t even know your favorite color, yet here I am, declaring my love for you by preparing myself to jump off a cliff. Just so I can see you again.”

Newt’s chocolate brown eyes softened. “It’s brown. Just like your eyes, Tommy. But please, please don’t do this. Not for me, you need to live for Minho, and-”

“I never got to say goodbye to you.” Thomas whispered. Newt’s heart sank into the pits of his chest.

“That’s okay Tommy, I promise. It’s okay. Just please don’t do this Tommy.”

“And sometimes I wonder what it would be like. I wonder what would happen if I died instead of you.”

“Tommy-”

“I love you so much, Newt. It hurts so much to know that you aren’t here, next to me.”

“I love you too! I love you so much, but I know I’ll see you again. I can wait, I’ve waited for a while, I can wait some more. Please don’t do this Tommy, I beg of you.”

Newt could feel his own tears running down his cheeks, but he could still see Thomas in a crisp and clear form.

“I love you, and you probably won’t ever know that.”

“I do now Tommy, I do now. Just stop, don’t do this.”

“I hope you can hear me Newt.”

“I can Tommy, I can hear you now, and I always will. I’ll always listen to you.”

“Because I’m coming to meet you.”

“No. No no no no no no no-”

Thomas walked off the cliff, unaware of Newt’s cries and screams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't kill me, I have like 20 chapters planned at it would be a shame if I can't write them because I'm dead.


	11. Hold Me (I'm Broken)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for taking so long to update!
> 
> This is a good chapter (ish) it's mostly fluff, I promise!

Newt woke up with a pain in his chest.

It was March 14th.

He didn’t need to check his phone to know that Harriet had already confirmed she would be taking care of Sonya today. He trusted his sister’s girlfriend. Sonya was in good hands.

However, he, on the other hand, was not. Only Harriet, Gally, and Minho knew what really happened on March 14th, so that meant Newt was probably going to be bombarded with questions from his favorite brunette.

Sighing heavily, Newt picked up his phone from his bedside table, ready to text Minho to let him know he’d shut himself in his house, and ask him to keep Thomas away from him for the next 24 hours.

Unfortunately, there was already knocking on his door by the time he had managed to unlock his phone. 

Newt sighed again, and simply let the phone slip from his weak grasp onto his stomach. His body ached, his legs felt like lead, the room was slightly spinning, and the pain in his chest kept getting worse the more he thought about it.

The knocking had stopped, and Newt was ready to assume whoever it was had left. That is, until his phone started blasting to the tunes to Runnin’ by Adam Lambert. Newt swore under his breath as he forced himself to sit up, only to collapse due to the severe pain in his chest.

“Newt? Are you okay?” Newt could hear Thomas’ muffled voice ask.

The blonde wanted to respond, he really did, but his throat felt dry and he didn’t know if he would even be able to get a single word out. After a few moments of silence, Newt heard Thomas sigh from behind his front door, which wasn’t that far away.

“I’m coming in!” Thomas called out, and Newt wished that he could be able to speak, to tell his best friend off, to let him grieve in peace for just today. Unfortunately, his throat felt just as dry as before, so he couldn’t tell Thomas to leave, even after the brunette had entered the apartment.

The Brit just layed in bed, his dark brown eyes staying focused on the ceiling when Thomas entered his bedroom. 

“Newt, are you okay?” Thomas asked. Newt slightly shook his head, but even that hurt. “Do you need some water?” The blonde nodded.

Thomas sighed before going to the kitchen and quickly filling up a cup of water before returning it to his best friend, who was still laying in bed, looking at the ceiling. 

“Here.” Newt took the cup with shaky hands, and when Thomas had realized this, his worry doubled. He gently pushed Newt’s hands back onto the mattress and used his free hand to prop up a pillow Newt could lay his back on.

After years of friendship, Newt already knew what Thomas was doing, so he complied, hoping that Thomas didn’t notice his small intake of a breath when he felt a sharp pain appear in the center of his ribcage. 

Thomas noticed, but didn’t say anything, instead helping his friend up so he could at least drink some water. When the younger man placed the cup to Newt’s lips, Newt just slowly drank the water, trying to ignore the concerned look on his friend's face. 

When all the water was gone, Thomas set the cup down where Newt’s phone had been earlier and tried to read the blank expression on his friend’s face, causing Newt to squirm under his gaze.

“You didn’t answer me.” Thomas said suddenly. Newt looked down at his hands, that he fiddled with in his lap.

“ ’m fine. Just tired, ‘s all. You can leave now, Tommy.” Newt’s words were slurred, and his tongue felt like it was ready to give up on him at any moment.

“I’m not leaving you like this.” Thomas sternly told him. Newt bit back a groan of annoyance. Today is his off day. Today is his day to mourn the death of his parents, the day all his memories of them getting killed in front of him come back. Today is not the day Thomas should be around to comfort him. 

Not if he’s going to react like he has in the past.

“Tommy, please, just go.” He mumbled, his eyes drooping. 

“Get some sleep, Newt. I’ll go do your dishes. Call my name if you need me.” Thomas insisted, and headed off with the cup before Newt could reject his offer.

Newt sighed heavily again, and closed his eyes, allowing himself to be lulled back to sleep with the sounds of the water in his kitchen running and Thomas humming to himself softly.

The Brit fell asleep before Thomas came back with more water for him to drink. The brunette stayed in the doorway, staring at his best friend with a small smile on his lips for a while, before placing the cup where it had been before and kissing Newt’s forehead before returning to the dishes. 

* * *

When Newt woke up again during lunchtime. The first thing he woke up to was the smell of eggs. He could hear the pan sizzling, as well as Thomas’ humming. A smile creeped on his face, until he could feel the pains and aches return. 

They weren’t quite as bad as a few hours ago, but they still hurt. He looked over at his nightstand to find the cup refilled. This time the smile was able to stay on his face, and was still there when Thomas walked in, a plate with scrambled eggs and bacon on it. 

“Hey. How you feeling?” Thomas asked, his voice soft. 

Newt hoped that if he pretended he was fine now, maybe Thomas would leave him alone. The clock on the right side of the wall near Thomas’ head showed that he still had a few hours before his parents official death time. 

“Much better. You really didn’t have to do this, Tommy.” 

Thomas mocked an offended face. “Of course I do, I’m your best friend. If you feel sick, it’s my job to make sure you get better.”

Well, it wasn’t really his job, but Thomas and Newt had been friends for years, and they always told each other everything. Well, except for the event that happened on this specific day. 

“It’s much appreciated, Tommy. But I have to go see Ben and Gally soon, so you should really leave now.”

Newt didn’t really want his friend to leave, but he knew that no matter what he did, in a few hours he’ll be an emotional mess. Screaming, crying, tearing things apart, and he didn’t want Thomas to witness it all first hand. 

“Why can’t I come with you?” Thomas asked, his bambi eyes glittering with curiosity and sadness. Newt told himself he was doing that on purpose, but he couldn’t find a single part of him that hated the younger man for it. 

“Because I know how much you hate Gally.” 

Thomas didn’t even blink at that. “I’ve forgiven him.”

Newt, however, was shocked. “When?”

“I don’t remember exactly, I think it was during Spring Break, and you had visited your aunt and uncle in England.” Thomas shrugged, before handing Newt the plate.

“Uh, well, I’m going to see them about some issues that I would rather not address in front of you.” Newt accepted the plate, choosing to stare at the mix of white and gold in his eggs.

“So after years of friendship, you’re starting to keep secrets from me? I don’t believe it. Tell me what’s going on Newt.” Thomas shook his head before sitting down at the edge of Newt’s twin sized mattress. 

Another sigh. At this rate, he’ll start losing track of how many sighs he can fit in a day. “I just- it’s not- Today’s just not a good day for me.” Newt admitted. 

Thomas’ eyebrows drew together. “Why?”

Newt went silent. How would Thomas take the news? How would he react if he found out he’s been hiding it even before their friendship. Newt didn’t know if he could handle Thomas leaving him forever. He never intends to let their friendship break. 

“Newt, please. I’ve been quiet about this for a long time. Just tell me what’s wrong.”

More silence.

The brunette felt his heart drop. He never wanted Newt to keep secrets from him. He thought that after all they’ve been through- nightmares, funerals, panic attacks- the Brit would open up to him if he was ever troubled.

Just as Thomas was about to leave, he heard the blonde sniffle, and watched as a single tear dropped down Newt’s face.

Naturally, Thomas decided against leaving.

Newt’s hands turned white as he gripped his blanket, more tears were running down his lightly freckled face, and he just looked so small, Thomas was trying so hard to restrain himself from giving him a hug.

“If I tell you, do you promise not to leave me?” Newt whispered. It shattered the younger’s heart. 

“I would never leave you.” Thomas confirmed, pulling Newt into a tight hug, which he immediately welcomed.

“It’s my parents death anniversary.” Newt spoke into Thomas’ shoulder, now gripping his shirt. Thomas was shocked, but decided not to say anything, letting his friend continue. “I was only 6 years old when it happened. Lizzy was 5. Some gang members burst into our house one night. Mum tried to rush us to the basement as dad tried to hold them off, but he-”

Newt choked up, and Thomas rubbed his back to show his support. “It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me any more…”

“No. I want to.” His voice was firm, like steel with tiny holes in it that showed its weakness. Newt inhaled sharply before continuing the story. “He was shot in the heart by a gunman. Lizzy was already halfway down the basement, but I stood there and watched it all happen. Mum was shot moments later after she tried to attack the bloke. This time it was to the head. Twice.”

The blonde had to stop again to sob a little before continuing. “They almost got me. The next bullet grazed my arm. Then one of our neighbors arrived and shot the three gangsters down. By the time I managed to contain myself, I caught up with Lizzy, who had huddled herself in a ball, rocking back and forth with her ears covered. She was so scared. I didn’t-”

Newt choked up again, and Thomas let out a small “shhhhhhhhh…” as he played with the Brit’s hair. 

“I don’t know what I would have done if they had gotten her. She’s the only family I have left now.” 

“Where is she right now?”

“Harriet’s comforting her. Knowing how these days go, she’s probably wrapped up in a blanket in the corner, humming to herself as Harriet tries to soothe her. She certainly handles it better than I do.” Newt chuckled dryly, moving his hands to cling onto a different part of his shirt.

“And… how do you handle it?”

“Not well.”

“Any details you’d like to share with that?”

Newt hesitated. He’s already gotten this far into the confessing, he figured. Might as well get everything off his chest. 

“Every May 14th I’ll scream bloody murder until my throat goes sore, and then I’ll tear apart my house. Minho gets me new dishes a few days later because he knows how destructive I am. One time I went as far as to rip apart my mattress.”

It was silent for a while, and Newt was worried he scared Thomas off.

“Is that why you didn’t want to tell me? Because you get angry and destructive once a year?” Thomas asked. Newt nodded.

“Pretty much.”

Thomas released himself from the hug and gripped Newt’s shoulders, looking him dead in the eyes. 

“You know you can tell me anything, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. Any more confessions?”

Newt thought for a moment. Should he confess the other secret he’s been holding in all this time? He’s probably already scared him enough, but it wouldn’t hurt to add onto it now.

Thomas never got a verbal answer from Newt. Instead, the blonde pressed his lips to the brunette’s, and after he made sure it wasn’t a joke, the two had decided to start dating.

Okay, well, he got a verbal answer, but that was 364 days later, when Newt told him he loved him. 

“I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if there was an exact day his parents died (right in front of him, because James Dashner just had to make his miserable life even MORE traumatic!) and I am aware that isn't exactly how his parents died, but it's the best I've got.


	12. Time Stands Still

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys, I am so sorry this is so late. I just started drivers training which has sucked up 12 shucking hours of my time already! And usually I use that time to do homework, and the time I used to do homework fed into some of my writing time and chores. It's just been hectic.
> 
> Also, I had a mental breakdown yesterday, so please note you are very special if I managed to pull myself together to be able to write this chapter.
> 
> The last week of February I will not be able to update anything, as seeing all of that week I'll be finishing the courses needed to take a test, and then take the test itself.
> 
> I'm exhausted just thinking about it all.
> 
> I hope you're all doing better than me.
> 
> Stay safe my fellow Gladers! :)
> 
> Warning: this is terrible  
> And it's a PJO crossover because I can do that

Thomas was biting his fingernails anxiously while sitting on his bed in Cabin 10. Every other second he looked above his head, watching as the small numbers painfully ticked down.

He had less than an hour left.

Less than an hour until he meets his soulmate. 

He’s going crazy even thinking about it. Piper, the head counselor, has tried to convince him several times that getting out of the cabin and doing something productive might help take his mind off things.

But Thomas is a very stubborn person when he wants to be, and the only thing he could bring himself to do was to sit on his bed, biting his fingernails and glancing at the ticking clock above his head.

More than once has he concluded that his special Aphrodite gift was more like a curse. He’s the only one who can tell if a person’s met their soulmate yet or not, and sometimes it causes him to get weird glances if he stares above someone’s head for too long.

Unfortunately, he’s a sucker for all romance. While he’s only ever been on a few dates, and had only two girlfriends in the past, he’s pretty much his friend's designated relationship advice guy, because he’s just so good at it and loves it.

And when he thought back on it, it didn’t really surprise him that he turned out to be a son of Aphrodite, because his personality just seemed too obvious. He couldn’t care less who his godly parent turned out to be (unless it was Ares, because that guy freaks him out. Along with the fact that Minho is a good friend with the counselor, Clarisse, and could make his life a living hell.)

Minho, his best friend, was, unfortunately, a Hermes kid. He should have seen that one coming as well. Minho loved to joke and mess with people all the time. It was his all time favorite hobby. Though, sometimes Thomas believes that he could have wound up being an Ares kid, considering his love for fighting things.

Thomas and Minho have been best friends for as long as he could remember. They went to the same school for years before they both discovered they were Half-Bloods. Minho was really Thomas’ only friend for a while, but the longer he spent at CHB, the more friends he gained.

For some reason, Thomas has always been good at making friends with new kids. For example, he made fast friends with Winston, a son of Demeter, and Zart, a child of Hecate. He always looked forward to making sure new campers felt welcome. It was like his sworn duty.

The only time he’s ever blown off his “sworn duty” was yesterday. Word around camp was that they had just welcomed a claimed child of Apollo, who had a bad history in his life in Britain. According to Annabeth, he has a limp in his left leg due to unknown reasons.

She also told him that the new camper was “just his type”.

Thomas decided to ignore that comment.

When the clock started ticking down from the half hour mark, Thomas gave in. He couldn’t sit for another minute knowing that soon he’ll face his soulmate. It made him way too anxious to think about, and frankly, he doesn’t need any more anxiety than he already has.

The day was warm and hot, the sun scorching the camp. Thomas is used to it now, but he remembers that when he had to move to CHB, he once cursed Apollo for making it way too hot and way too bright. He thanked his lucky stars since Apollo hadn’t heard him then.

It was frightening how much the Gods and Goddesses have control over their lives. Sometimes he forced himself to not think about it, because he knew if he did, then he’d go and curse someone else, and he had already put his life on the line once because of that.

As Thomas walked around, he could hear laughing and screaming from all over the place. Some campers had raced past him, Sonya and Harriet, he believed, giggling like crazy as Sonya attempted to reach Harriet.

Thomas shook his head, a smile growing on his face. He loved that Half-Bloods still managed to find joy in their miserable lives. Of course, not everyone has. Nico di Angelo he heard had been bitter for a long time, and still is. Thomas doesn’t know the guy personally, but he often finds him with the head medic, Will Solace, and every time he sees the two, Nico seems happy.

He knows Piper is still trying to get past her breakup with Jason and losing her best friend Leo. He still wakes up to her crying sometimes. And the nightmares Percy and Annabeth get- it was just a lot. They all lost a lot over the war.

Unconsciously, Thomas dug into one of his pockets and ran his thumb over the small wooden statue Chuck had given him just before the war. He could still see Chuck’s parents expressions when they found out in his head, and it pained him greatly. 

Thomas stared at the statue a little longer, before deciding to put it away. On his way to the archery range, he stopped by the arena to watch an intense sword fight between Jason Grace and Nico di Angelo. He didn’t stay for long, though he did watch long enough to remind himself to never get on the bad side of either of them.

Jason was fantastic with his sword, but Nico was very good at dodging attacks. The fact that they brought none of their powers into it all amazed Thomas. He was very good at using a bo staff, though it wasn’t deadly like a knife or dagger.

When Thomas had finally gotten to the archery range, there were only four campers there. A kid from the Hermes cabin, someone from Athena’s cabin, and Kayla Knowles helping a camper he had never seen before.

The new kid had a very defined and sharp jaw, with honey golden hair framing it perfectly, ending just below his jawline. He had some muscle, though he was mostly pretty lanky, and considering where Kayla stood to him, about Thomas’s height too.

Thomas wanted to curse Annabeth. She knew exactly what he looked for in guys, and that man, standing less than thirty feet away from him, was exactly his type. Why, oh why, did he have to be friends with a daughter of Athena?

Collecting his pride and trying to hold it together with glue, Thomas marched up to the two. Kayla noticed his presence first, and she stopped giving the boy instructions to study Thomas as he walked up to them.

“Hey Thomas! What’s up?” A knowing smile was clear as day on her face, and Thomas started to think maybe he wasn’t so secretive about his attractiveness to blonde guys with brown eyes.

“Hey Kayla. Hi, name’s Thomas. Thomas Stilinski. And you are?”

“Isaac Samuels. But you can just call me Newt.”

In all honesty, Thomas had completely forgotten about his soulmate, until when he shook hands with Newt, he looked up to see that his 0 had come.

_ Oh crap  _ Was his only thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> References galore because why the shuck not


	13. Habits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: mentions of suicide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for such a crappy chapter, I really tried, but I just pulled myself out of a panic attack only two hours ago and while I do feel tired, I needed to let my emotions out, so here is Newt with part of my life story.

It started when he was a child. 

He had managed to stick a grape in his mouth,and immediately began choking on it. Black spots danced in his vision and he blacked out right as his parents started to freak out.

As a child, choking on his food became a habit. He would do it purposefully, though he didn’t know why exactly. But he liked it when everything had stopped existing, and the only thing he could do was lay in darkness.

The older he had gotten, the more he was allowed to do. Ride bikes, play with friends, go to the park, eat out. And it excited him to no end.

Because the more chances he got to get out of his house, the more he got to surround himself in that darkness for a while, without his parents finding out or fussing about it.

It got out of hand when he turned 15.

His parents had been dead for a while then, and he was taken in by his uncle, who didn’t give two cares in the world about what he did for fun, or where he went. Sonya was the only person left to care.

That is, until he met the brunette.

It was a simple, sunny day. His birthday always was exactly that.

And he hated it.

Why did the sun have to burn so bright on his birthday? Why did everyone have to be so happy around him? Why did he feel like this all the time?

Those questions had been circling in his head for years, and they never went away. 

He always felt tired, always felt sick. Newt never felt like doing anything sometimes, and other times he wouldn’t be able to because his mind wouldn’t shut up about what-ifs. 

For his 15th birthday, Sonya was meeting up with a friend, which meant he had the day to himself. Which wasn’t exactly rare, but his little sister always worried about him, no matter how convincing he tried to be with his fake smiles and empty promises.

So, he decided to go test his balance. 

Newt knew that he was generally well balanced, more than many other people, and even some dancers. It was a gift that his father had, and apparently it was passed down to both Newt and Sonya.

He hiked through a forest that was only a few miles away from the tiny house his uncle lived in, kicking the dirt with his mucky shoes as he mouthed the words to Flares, one of his personal favorite songs arranged by The Script. He didn’t know why, but he always felt connected to the song and the meaning behind it.

His fingers itched at his sides, trying to play imaginary piano keys on his thighs as he walked down the twisted path. Another knack he had developed after only three years of piano lessons. He wouldn’t call himself good, in fact, he preferred bass guitar, but he was okay enough at it.

The path had cleared halfway through the song, and it opened up to a deep river, with an old stone bridge built across it. He had found this place a few weeks ago, and had been meaning to come challenge the light once again by balancing on the steel pole that was supposed to be a handrail.

Newt paused the song and popped the earbuds out of his pale ears, before placing everything into his tattered messenger bag. He placed two hands on the railing, closing his eyes to breathe for a moment, steeling any nerves that were shaking. 

One moment he was breathing, and the next he was up on the pole, trying to balance his weight properly, testing out the system. Before he knew it, one foot went forward. And then another. Suddenly he was walking across the pole, and he couldn’t help the joyful laugh that escaped his lips.

He walked across it a few times, wobbling here and there as he tried to regain his balance. His thin lips were spread across his face, and this time it didn’t feel forced. 

Suddenly, a force had dragged him down back onto the concrete, slamming him into their body. All the air had escaped his lungs, the world had begun to spin, and he felt unnaturally warm on his right side.

“What were you doing up there?” The owner to the body asked, and Newt felt his head snap up before he could even blink.

He was staring into the most gorgeous amber eyes, which belonged to a well built face. The boy’s lips were begging for attention, but Newt ignored them and decided to scan the moles and freckles scattered across his tan face.

“Uh…” Newt smartly replied, words failing him.

“Are you okay?” The boy asked again, shifting his hold so his strong hands cupped the sides of Newt’s cheeks, which were blazing with heat at the contact.

“‘M fine.” Newt answered, trying very, very hard to ignore those alluring lips of his.

“You had me so worried there. What if you fell? Does your family know where you are?” The brunette continued to rant, now looking over Newt’s entire frame, making sure there wasn’t even a paper cut on him.

“Er…” 

The boy stopped scanning the blond, and relief flooded his bambi like eyes. 

“Um-”

“Oh! I’m so stupid, sorry. Hi, my name’s Thomas.” The boy, Thomas, stated, offering one of his hands for Newt to shake.

Newt did so without hesitation. “Name’s Newt.” He mumbled, the blush on his cheeks lowering to his neck.

“Is that short for something else?” Thomas asked, releasing his grip on Newt’s hand.

“Newton. But I hate the name.”

“Oh, don’t tell me your last name is Isaac.” Thomas grumbled, playfully rolling his eyes.

“Isaacs, but close enough.” Newt chuckled.

“I see your parents are fans of scientists too.”

“I take it your last name is probably Edison?”

“Unfortunately.”

“Well then, it’s nice to meet you, Tommy.”

“It’s nice to meet you too. If we ever meet again, however, I better not see you walking on a bridge.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have my Driver's Training test tomorrow, and I'm stressing about it like crazy.   
> Hope you guys are doing better than me (:


	14. Trial By Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magical AU!
> 
> Newt's a warlock and Thomas a regular ol' guy that is massively clumsy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter makes up for the last one.
> 
> Sorry the other one was so crappy!
> 
> <3 Love you guys!

Thomas was drowning. 

The frigid water enveloped his body like a thick, heavy blanket, filling his lungs and chilling his core, slowly breaking down the heat his body was desperately trying to provide as cover. 

He tried to pull himself to the surface. He had managed a brief moment, where his lungs were free of their clenching, desperate for air, and his mouth could stop fighting his body. But it was a mere second of air, before he was dragged back down to the water, his foot being pulled further away from his sanctuary. 

In the water he fought. He kicked, scratched, swung as wildildy and harshly as possible, each movement growing weaker by the second. He was slowly losing his vision, the black fading with the murky blue. Thomas fought to keep himself in a stable state, desperately hoping that someone had heard his earlier cries for help. 

All of the brunette’s energy had zapped, like a switch. One moment he was full of fight, the fierce fire burning intensely in his stomach, and the next the fire had been put out, all energy leaving his body in milliseconds. 

He gave up hope. Because now he was as good as dead. He didn’t even know what had been pulling at him, but one moment he was swimming in a desperate attempt to clear his mind, and the next he was being dragged underneath the calm waves, whites and blues engulfing him.

It was still in his last few moments. Everything was still, except for the water. The ever changing water that would never be calmed, no matter how hard people tried. Thomas felt his arms grow limp, floating up towards the surface, trying to escape his heavy body, which was being pulled deeper and deeper under the water.

Thomas watched his surroundings as he waited to die. He watched calmly as the lights reflected off the cold water, dancing all around him and creating little sparks of white in the light blue. Tiny flares were colored randomly all around him, desperate to absorb his body into it all. The flashing lights helped calm his mind, in a way, as he watched them flicker and sparkle, in ways he always missed, because his life never offered time for him to notice these things.

While the fire in his body had not burned out entirely, he could feel it fading every second he spent inside the water. The searing burn on his ankle that had dragged him under the water was still there, still somehow managing to create a warmth to his body, and under the waves. At first it was painful to feel, like someone had stuck a metal rod to permanently burn his ankle, but now it was just a nice warmth to the chilled liquid around him.

His flames of life flickered, dying down slowly and painfully. Thomas wasn’t sure people were supposed to survive this long underwater, but then again, his lungs had a naturally large capacity, so he was sort of expecting a painfully slow death. 

All his life, he would’ve never dreamed his final day like this.

His morning was amazing. His adoptive mother, Mary, didn’t have work today, so she was able to make him breakfast before he headed out for school. All of his classes went well, with the exception of acting class, which had gone even better. And just when he started to feel like it was a good day, his confidence blew it.

He blew it.

Thomas knows that it’s dangerous if his confidence gets in the way of his rational thinking. But he let it happen anyways, because he just couldn’t let this opportunity slip from his fingers. A sudden bravery boost was all he needed to tell his best friend how he truly felt about him.

Even if Newt was a warlock, and Thomas himself was a simple human, he had always felt safe with Newt. Newt had always been there for him, no matter what, and Thomas tried his very best to always be there for Newt. They had been friends for over a decade, so he decided that the time was finally right.

But everything had gone wrong so fast.

And he tried to swim it off. Because that’s one of the ways he was always able to clear his head of anxiety. One of his go-to ways to get rid of nasty thoughts. But now it had ended up with him drowning in the high school’s swimming pool.

That is, until he wasn’t.

Just when the last dying ember was about to burn out for good, Thomas felt air push its way back into his lungs. He heaved it all in desperately, gasping for air as he felt his body start to shiver.

“Hold still, mate.” 

If Thomas was in control of his shivering body, he would freeze at that familiar voice, with the thick british accent and alluring tone. 

A wave of warmth engulfed Thomas’s body, and as blood rushed back into his almost deaf ears, he could hear his best friend whispering a chant repeatedly. One of his spells, Thomas had guessed. 

The blood in his body slowly made its way back into his body as Thomas laid on the stone floor near the swimming pool, still gasping for air as he tried to fan the flames of life.

Newt stopped. 

And just when an burst of ranting was about to escape his lips, Thomas felt Newt kiss him.

That’s when his brain decided to not work.

It was a quick kiss, but it felt so special and meaningful to Thomas, he couldn’t help the gigantic grin that slowly took over his face.

“I see how it is. I don’t give five bloody seconds to process a love confession without you fleeing, and then I find you drowning yourself to death.” Newt sarcastically remarked, crossing his arms and pouting slightly.

Thomas’s head supplied him with the nice thought of thinking of his best friend, his crush, as a child. 

He couldn’t agree more.

“Sorry.” Thomas coughed out.

“You’re lucky I love you enough to have dragged your pony loving butt out before you died.” Newt supplied.

Thomas didn’t get five seconds to process that before he was being kissed once again.


	15. Come Back (I Still need You)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this took F O R E V E R to write because I tried to write just fluff to calm down my depression, but heh it's never worked before so why should it work now, right?
> 
> P.S. this chapter is GARBAGE
> 
> Anyways, here's a depressingly cute chapter with a depressing song to go with the title. 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwAkeTLbHhg

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :P
> 
> *sings off-key* my depression isn't goooooood. So Imma go watch Solangelo and Newtmas stuff to try and cure it

A sharp, brisk knock on the wooden door sounded in the dark night. 

The hooded figure stood in front of it, waiting for the person behind it to open up an old world that has become foreign to him. He shifted his weight to each foot as he waited.

His breathing was steady in the warm air in the state of New Mexico, as he tried to control the capacity of air his lungs greedily collected and wastefully exhaled. His fingertips were sizzling, warm and sweaty, just like the back of his covered neck.

The man’s deep brown hoodie ended just below his hip line, sagging on top of his hunched shoulders and resting there, like a weightless object that only seemed to weigh the brunette into the world of reality.

A slight buzz became sound to his ears as the elevator a few doors down the seemingly endless hallway started to run, carrying another person or group of people to their own destinations. He sighed as he waited for the door to open, straining his ears so he could hear someone mumble behind the door, as the person went to open it.

When the delicate patterns on the wood was replaced with a blond, the brunette held his breath, waiting for the other’s reaction.

“Look, if this is another stupid party… tricks…” the blond started to speak while opening, his gaze on the floor before glancing up to see the cloaked figure standing in the doorway. All of the air escaped between the two, as those familiar brown eyes slowly scanned the person from his past.

“Surprise.” Thomas mumbled, letting a small, sly smile stretch across his face as he tried not to flinch under the scrutinizing glare Newt gave him.

“What are you doing here?” Newt hissed, his eyes narrowed to tiny slivers that were so sharp, they cold sharpen a knife. Thomas could feel his confidence crumble.

All day he had been impatiently trying to formulate a plan. Biting his fingernails didn’t help distract him, not even when he accidentally nipped at the tips of his fingers. Pacing back and forth only let his brain go even crazier, and trying to run only helped for so long. 

“I was hoping we could talk.” Thomas whispered, all of a sudden feeling incredibly stupid and vunerable. He felt Newt’s gaze on him still, accessing him with calculating eyes. 

“After three years, you suddenly want to talk?” Newt spat out, venom leaking from the tone of his voice. 

In all reality, Thomas knew he was going to be mad. After all, he was the one who gave Newt hope, and ripped it all away from him. Newt had every right to be pissed at him, to punch him in the stomach and kick him out of the hotel, onto the streets. He was in the right, and Thomas knew it.

But a tiny shred of hope, the small gleam of light in his darkened life, a sliver of happiness in his depressing realm, let him believe that maybe Newt would let him back in. That maybe, just maybe, Newt would forgive him and they could move past everything that had happened years ago.

The silence was all Newt needed. He sighed deeply, feeling the emotional strain already being placed on his chest, and pulled Thomas by the forearm into his rented room, shutting the door behind him and walking away, letting Thomas do as he wished. 

And Thomas desperately wished to speak to Newt.

“You have every right to be mad at me.” Thomas began, the small sliver of hope dwindling.

“Of course I do. You left me.” Newt replied, not bothering to turn around and face Thomas, instead focusing on preparing a kettle full of water to burn on the rather clean stovetop. He was wearing a baggy shirt that showed his collarbone, and ended mid thigh, no matter how tall he was. To pair with it, he wore baggy sweatpants that bundled up around his ankles.

It did well to hide his scarily thin frame.

“I know. But I wanted to explain myself.” Thomas begged, trying to hold back the urge to clasp his dirty hands together and get on his knees to beg the blond for forgiveness. 

“Then explain. If you’re going to waste my time by dancing around the subject, might as well bloody leave right now and never show your face again.”

Newt was seething. That much Thomas could tell. He hid it well, he always had, but Thomas knew him. They’ve been best friends for forever. Since before they started middle school. Thomas knew Newt inside and out, the way he thought, the way he breathed, the way he kissed. And Thomas could only guess it was the same way in reverse. 

“I know I hurt you. I know that me leaving London was hard on you, but you have to understand that-”

“No, Tom- Thomas. I don’t. You left me. You hurt me in a way you can never imagine. I let you into my life, I invited you to my wedding to make you miserable, so you could see that I have moved on with my life, moved on from you. And then you come in here and try to ruin any chance of revenge I want because you want me to understand your perspective on your choice. How about me? Will you let me tell you how I felt, or are you going to leave me before I get to explain how ruined I was?”

“Newt-” Thomas whimpered. 

“No! Just get away from me. Stay away. Can’t you see that I’m finally happy with him? That I’ve moved on?” Newt cried out, finally facing Thomas to show him how truly broken he looked. 

“No! I came here to make things right again! Because I can’t stand watching you be the public trophy husband to that- that GUY! I can tell you’re not happy with him! You’ve never liked people, big crowds, parties, being the center of attention. You hated it! And I know you still do!”

“You didn’t even answer my damn question!” 

Newt’s face was red, anger coming off of his body in waves. The only thing that could block them was Thomas’s own anger. 

“Of course you get to say your piece! I’ve never ignored your opinion on things. You know that! I always took your advice and opinions to heart. But that GUY-”

“Aris.” Newt whispered dangerously low, hot and angry tears streaming down his face.

“Aris has never once heard your opinion, has he? Has he ever done something to make you feel like you’re worth it? Like you’re worth being around?” Thomas kept pressing, feeling the uncontrollable rage claw at his chest and rip apart his lungs. 

Newt couldn’t answer. He didn’t dare lie to Thomas. Because he knew that the other would be able to sniff out the fib like a bloodhound. Instead, he stood there, fists clenched at his sides as angry water spilled from his tired eyes. His entire body sagged as he let the building sadness take hold of him.

He hadn’t remembered the last time he cried like this. So open, so vulnerable. Whenever he was around Aris, so was everyone else. And he hated it. He hated being the center of attention, just like Thomas had said. It always made him too self conscious. And for the past year he hasn’t remembered a single moment where he had time for himself that wasn’t sleeping. 

Thomas’s anger fizzled out, dying quickly like the last ember of a burning campfire. He dashed over to Newt, who fell apart at his touch. His knees gave out and Thomas took the other’s entire weight. Newt slumped into Thomas, burying his head into the other’s shoulder for support. 

Moral or physical support, Thomas didn’t know.

“Tommy-” Newt sobbed, clutching two shaking fists into the folds of Thomas’s jacket. In return, said brunette gently started to card his fingers through the blond’s hair, humming softly under his breath to one of his favorite songs. It always helped soothe Newt whenever he would have nightmares or would have a bad day in general.

The two stood in the middle of the kitchen like that for a while, Newt crying into Thomas’s chest as he let his jar of emotions open up. He’s held it closed for two years. This was one of the best things that could probably ever happen to him.

Just when Newt thought the world hated him enough to stick him with Aris of all people for the rest of his miserable life, it had shoved Thomas his way and gave him an ultimatum.

“Alright. Explain. Now.” Newt whispered to Thomas, who didn’t stop messing with Newt’s hair as he began to talk.

“I never told you this, but I found my dad.” 

Newt gave a sharp inhale of air, sounding harsh against Thomas’s ears.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“I was doubtful. I wasn’t even sure it was him. He was a mess. Moving all over the place, never really settling down, getting all kinds of weird jobs. No wonder he was hard to find. But I wasn’t certain, and I didn’t want to give you hope. I was too hopeful enough, I wasn’t going to let you be that way too.”

“You didn’t know that.” Newt insisted, tugging a little more at Thomas’s jacket as he tried to support his own weight.

“You’re right. I didn’t. But you were finally starting to be happy again. You found a meaning in life. I desperately wanted to find my father, and I wasn't about to diminish any hope you would’ve had.”

Newt exhaled loudly. “Tommy-”

“I know I should’ve explained myself in the letter. But then it would sound like I left you to see my father. And I didn’t. Well, not really. After I realized you wouldn’t want me to show up again, I tried to start a life here. Then one day, when I saw the headlines about the son of one of the biggest company owners waltzing around with you…”

Guilt started to grip at Newt’s heartstrings. 

“I didn’t realize-”

“No, don’t you dare apologize. I left you. You deserved happiness, so I stayed out of it. But I could see you weren’t happy.”

“So you thought you’d come to sweep me off my feet the night before my wedding?” Newt huffed, stopping short of a laugh.

Thomas giggled a little. “Not the best of timing on my part, I’ll admit. But better late than never, right?”

Newt looked up to Thomas’s face, which looked like the definition of hopeful. His large bambi eyes were soft at the edges and curving at the perfect areas to show how vulnerable he felt, his hands were clammy as he moved to lace them with Newt’s own. But his smile spoke it all. 

“So what do you propose?” 

The brunette’s eyes widened slightly, shifting from hope to terror. “Oh shoot, I forgot the ring.”

After years of spending time with one another, Newt probably should’ve expected that. And maybe it’s been a while, three years to be exact, since he last confronted him, but he should’ve known. 

“What?”

Thomas burst into laughter after that. A full hearted laugh that maybe shook the apartment. That or Newt, who was always weak at the knees for Thomas. The other was his world, and it had all shattered when he walked away. But now he was here, offering him another chance to live again.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding. Alright, listen. I have a house. It’s only about two hours away from here. Come with me. I can take you, and we can do whatever you want from there. I’d follow you anywhere. And I’ll wait as long as I have to if it means you’ll be with me.” Thomas squeezed both of Newt’s hands and brought them up to his shoulders.

“Just please come with me.” He whispered into one of Newt’s ears, his breath blowing against it and causing a few blond strands of hair to fly away. Newt’s hands clutched onto Thomas’s shoulders instinctively over the action, his heart pounding a mile a second, his breathing becoming ragged.

And this feeling, the feeling of want and need, had felt so foreign, yet so right to Newt. Because the person it’s all for is for Thomas. And Thomas is the source of it all. And it felt all so right to him. Thomas has always been the only one who could make him feel this way.

Newt nodded slowly, feeling all of his energy buzzing inside of his bones. His fingers itched against Thomas’s jacket, and his legs gained a sudden strength. At the small approval from the other, Thomas let a moment of silence fall over them, before suddenly pressing a bruising kiss to the blond’s lips.

“What time will your ex-fiance come back?” Thomas whispered against Newt’s lips, causing the other to go mad.

“I won’t see him until the wedding tomorrow.” Newt answered, pressing a small and daring kiss to the younger one’s lips. 

Thomas hummed against Newt’s lips, a wicked grin growing on his face. Newt recognized the dangerous glint in his eyes, feeling another wave of desire flooded him, and it gave him the courage to move his hands to the other’s collar to bring him closer.

Hands started to roam all over Newt’s body, mapping it out like Thomas was trying to get a feel for what Newt felt like, how he was shaped. Through his hair, curving out his hips and waist, teasingly taking his time around the tip of his sweatpants. They cupped around the back of his thighs, and Newt got the memo, jumping up and wrapping his legs around Thomas’s waist. 

“I love you. I never got over you.” Thomas murmured, trailing his hands from Newt’s thighs to his curved shoulders after being able to get Newt over to a wall. 

Newt shuddered underneath the mixture of Thomas’s words and actions. Never in the past three years of his life had he felt so loved by someone. Not even Aris, who had given him everything he would've wanted. Except for true love. 

“I love you too, Tommy. I always have.” 

Thomas smiled softly, his wicked dying down into a small grin, showing Newt earnest affection and fondness. Newt’s heart melted at the sight, pooling the liquid of his heart into his blood system. 

“I’ll never leave you again. I swear.” 

And Newt believed him. He didn’t care that it was a possibility that Thomas could end up leaving him again. His brain didn’t even put the future thought in his mind. He was determined to believe in the man in front of him, the one that would drop his entire life if it meant he could see Newt. Thomas realized his mistake, and Newt is giving him a second chance.

“I believe you.” Newt claimed.

Those words earned him one of the best nights of his life. 

***insert sex scene here***

* * *

_ “Newt, I have something to tell you.” Thomas admitted, shutting the door to his room after Newt had walked in, sitting on the bed and looking at the brunette expectantly.  _

_ “What is it Tommy?”  _

_ Thomas looked from the floor to Newt, melting at the sight of his best friend’s warm and cautious smile. Newt’s come a long way from his suicidal tendencies, but it still wasn’t often that the blond would smile so genuinely. Thomas blamed that smile on his racing heart and sweaty palms. _

_ “Uh, well, as you know, we’ve been friends for a really long time now. And I uh- well, since school is now officially over, and we’re both graduates, and nothing is really planned in our lives right now, and you know, we’re old enough to live on our own and-” _

_ “C’mon Tommy, just get straight to the point already.” _

_ Thomas had to bite back the urge to make on of his bisexual jokes, knowing Newt would only either make a smart combeback with his own gay joke, or brush it off.  _

_ “I like you.” Thomas blurted out, immediately feeling all of the blood rush to his cheeks and his entire body beginning to sweat again. Newt, however, only looked confused. _

_ “I like you too, Tommy. Otherwise I wouldn’t be friends with you.” _

_ “No, not like- like THAT. I LIKE like you.” _

_ Thomas’s entire body was on fire, his legs feeling ready to collapse under the pressure of the coming silence between the pair. His arms were vibrating under his flannel, and his breathing was ragged in the warm air.  _

_ “As in a bloody crush?” Newt finally asked, disbelief written all over his face.  _

_ “Look, Newt, I know you were always about relationships getting in the way of your schoolwork and your work, so I figured I’d keep quiet until after we graduated. But I just can’t hold it in a second longer. I’ve been wanting to tell you for years.” _

_ “Years?” Newt gasped out, brown eyes growing wide and blown out. _

_ “Years.” Thomas confirmed, crossing his arms over his chest to mainly stop the shaking.  _

_ Another silence fell upon the two, Thomas still sweating the entire time.  _

_ “I-” _

_ “I know that you’ve never been able to believe that someone would ever like you, I get it. Don’t think I don’t. But I know you. Hell, we’ve technically been dating for the past year, what with the way we’re used to being around each other.” _

_ “But-” _

_ “And if you ever get worried that I’m pitying you, I just want to let you know that I’m not. I’ve been friends with you before and after all of that, and I’m still here. I was kind of hoping you’d realize how I felt about you, but here I am now.” _

_ “Tom-” _

_ “Just please don’t send me away. If I make you uncomfortable, if you’re not okay with this, just say so, and I can try to get over my crush. I just don’t want to leave you. Please don’t leave me.” _

_ “Bloody hell.” Newt murmured, before shooting up from the bed to throw himself against the other, lips against lips. The sudden action surprised Thomas, but he became aware of what was happening fairly quickly and kissed back, hunger for more directing his movements.  _

_ At first they just stood there, kissing each other hungrily, before Newt decided he wanted more. He grabbed the collar of Thomas’s flannel and pulled him down, letting his body fall against the bed. He trusted his instincts for once, and when Thomas realized this, he couldn’t help but smile. _

_ Newt had most definitely come a long way from where he was only two years ago. He wasn’t pushing away everyone anymore, wasn’t overworking himself, had finally started to draw again, his smile had become a little more regular, and he definitely looked more confident about his appearances.  _

_ “I like you a lot too, Tommy.” Newt whispered hotly against Thomas’s face, earning a wide grin from the other, so wide that it could stretch across the sun. Stars shined in his beautiful amber eyes, and Newt fell all over again. _

_ The duo had not realized how deeply in love the other was with them, so they had both been shoving their feelings far away into the back of their minds. But now every little secret has been spilled from their emotional jars, and both were so relieved. _

_ In response to the words, Thomas kissed him again, pushing the other against the blanketed mattress with his arms. He found Newt’s hands, and used his own to guide them above the brit’s head carefully. He had experience in this field, and he had accidentally bruised someone in it before. _

_ But with Newt, Thomas wanted to make everything as perfect as possible. Because this was finally happening. He was finally kissing the boy of his dreams, the love of his life, the person who hung the stars in the sky just for him. And he was there, kissing him senseless, because now he can. He can do all that he wants. _

_ The jar let the emotion of want flood into his blood, shooting a burst of adrenaline into him. He was becoming more ruthless, too carried away, but he couldn’t find any part of him that could care. Because all common sense had left his mind, had fled him so he could finally have his chance at being happy for once. _

_ All thoughts about the plane ticket in his coat’s pocket had left him along with everything else, including those thoughts about leaving for America to try and find his missing father. Everything was gone, and he couldn’t care. _

_ He wouldn’t, because tonight is all about him and Newt. Tonight he would give Newt everything he thinks the blond deserves. He can worry about the consequences to his actions tomorrow, when he wakes up and leaves the house for good, leaving only a note to tell the brit he’s sorry. _

* * *

Thomas groans in pain as he wakes up, feeling something cold pressed against his bare chest. Legs were tangled with his, and a head full of beautiful blond hair was tucking itself just underneath his chin. Thomas smiled down at the sight of it all, admiring how his tan skin blended well with Newt’s ghostly pale skin.

He took a mental note on Newt’s thin frame, which was too thin to be healthy, and tucked it away to the back of his mind for the moment. Right now all he had to be concerned about was simple little things.

The big plan is already prepared. Newt is packed and ready to leave with Thomas, and Thomas is determined to not let anything get in their way. Get in the way of the road to their own happiness. 

After his rollercoaster of a life, feeling depressed, working several jobs at once, almost dying because he wasn’t doing a good job at taking care of himself, and getting the wedding invitation to his best friend and long time crush’s special day. Everything seemed hopeless for him in those times.

But now?

Now he’s lying in bed with his best friend, with his soon to be boyfriend. He has a small house he bought a few weeks ago, a stable job that pays well, and he has a therapist that he probably won’t need soon.

Because now all of his problems seemed to be solved. In just one night, all of his problems vanished, with the love of his life screaming his name into the dead of night.

Thomas smiled as he painted the picture before him in his mind, taking in every small detail and storing it away forever. He doesn’t want this moment to ever end. The one moment in his life where everything in his life is looking good, where the tracks on his own rollercoaster is newly and properly built for a smooth ride. 

Newt started shifting, eyes fluttering open, his hands being taken off of Thomas’s waist so he could use his hands to cover his yawn. 

“Morning sleeping beauty.” Thomas smiled fondly at the blond, who simply smiled back lazily.

“Mornin’ Tommy.” 

“Are you excited for today?” Thomas asked eagerly, hoping the answer would be yes.

“Mhm.” Newt mumbled, closing his eyes again so he could bury his head deeper into Thomas’s chest. 

“Do you want breakfast?” Thomas whispered, gently brushing away a few stray hairs on the blond’s forehead from the other’s eyes.

Newt just grumbled under his breath, and Thomas took it as a yes. Thomas couldn’t keep the grin off of his face.

“Tell you what. If we leave now, I can get you anything you want on the way to my house.”

Newt opened one eye to look at Thomas curiously, a glint of curiosity mixing with a hint of amusement.

“Sure Tommy. As long as you don’t ditch me again.”

“Never.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”


	16. Coming Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas is a sex-repulsed Asexual and Newt is a supportive boyfriend :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was fairly easy to write. I was on social media today, and I saw some hurtful comments towards the asexuals and aromantics (which, btw, I am both, so how dare you) and I thought as a rebellion to them, I'd write a one shot.
> 
> The author has experience in almost every field in this story, so it was a good way to relieve stress
> 
> Warning: this chapter contains themes such as  
>  \- sexual assault  
>  \- sexual abuse  
>  \- rape  
>  \- depression  
>  \- internalized homophobia (ish. Idk what to call it)

It was a rather dull morning when Thomas woke up. The sun was hidden behind massive gray clouds, and the entire neighborhood wasn’t as awake as usual. People weren’t all over the streets, commotion on the roads was very little, and any familiar sounds for a regular morning had ceased.

All of his thoughts on the night before had rushed into his head, and Thomas groaned painfully, covering his eyes with both hands, as if he could make the entire world disappear at his will. A painful ache in his chest swelled to the size of a balloon, begging to be popped.

“No…” Thomas whispered to himself, tears threatening to spill from his amber eyes. He layed in his bed for a while, trying to delay the inevitable and trying to calm his swarming thoughts. 

Sobs threatened to break his closed lips as he moved to look at the ceiling that was painted a lovely blue. He tried to focus on the color through his blurred vision, trying to distract his brain with thinking abouts things that might look better in the familiar shade of blue.

But nothing could help him. No matter what strategy he tried to use, his mind kept wandering on the devastating thoughts. 

He’d been dating Newt for eight months now. And he could tell Newt was becoming suspicious. He also knew he wasn’t helping his case, making it too obvious. 

_ ‘I have to tell him soon. I can’t delay the inevitable.’ _

A painful groan escaped his lips as he let the tears silently fall down his face. If he could change the way he felt about things, he would. But it was never really his choice. All of his life, he’s always been repulsed to anything sexual. It was about time Newt knew, hell, it was past time he knew. But Thomas was too scared.

Because what if he turned out to be another Teresa? What if Newt would shame him just like she did, and force it upon him? He couldn’t live through that again. Even if it had been years ago since the traumatic experience, he spent most of that time trying to recover from it. 

When Newt waltzed into his life, it had been like a ray of sunshine in his life. He made things better, and he wasn’t as scared anymore. Dating the blond had been one of the best choices in his life. And he could ruin everything in just one simple sentence.

It shouldn’t be that hard, right? Just a simple ‘ _ I’m Asexual _ ’ should be enough.

But if Newt wouldn’t understand, if he left Thomas because of that, if he tried to convince Thomas otherwise, the brunette would be absolutely wrecked. His parents were enough beforehand, and after Teresa, he wasn’t so sure he could bring himself to terms with it all.

At one point in his life he tried it out. He went to bars to push himself, made him go through one night stands. But it only ended up making everything worse for him. He chickened out almost every time, and the others he would start shaking uncontrollably right in the middle of it all. 

So he had a right to be afraid of opening up to Newt. He had every right. It was his choice if he would play the cards or not, his choice to lay them out. He could always back out.

But then Newt might leave him.

It’s true, either way, Newt could leave him, but Thomas prefers to open up about this part of himself to Newt before the other decides their relationship’s fate.

Thomas hadn’t even realized he was in a panic attack until he heard someone knock on his apartment door. His hands were clutching at his shirt, bruising his chest as the thoughts had swirled in his mind. Streams of tiny rivers flowed out of his eyes, and his entire body looked like it was spasming. 

“Tommy?” A British accent rang into his room, muffled from behind the doors. Thomas’s breathing became uneven. 

After a moment, there was the sound of the front door opening, and Thomas silently cursed himself for telling Newt about the emergency key to his door. 

“You in here, Tommy?” Newt asked again, sounding closer this time. Thomas couldn’t say anything, his throat closing up and leaving him voiceless. 

For a moment everything was quiet. There weren’t footsteps, and there wasn’t breathing. And then his bedroom door opened to reveal Newt, dressed casually with his usual blue trench coat.

“Bloody christ, Tommy.” Newt gasped, darting over to Thomas, who was still visibly shaking in his bed, his hands turning white and the tears just not stopping their continuous flow. “Alright Tommy, I need you to breathe with me, okay? In on one…”

Newt breathed in, and Thomas couldn’t do it. His breathing felt too quick, the air escaping his lungs just as quickly as it came in. But Newt, just like Thomas, wasn’t one to give up easily. He tried it again.

“Two…” 

Thomas still couldn’t do it. His head had become a children’s toy room, completely and utterly trashed. Everywhere he turned, it was all a mess. 

“Three…” Newt tried again, his face looking desperate. Thomas hated it. 

Still no progress. Newt tried to release Thomas’s grip on himself and held his hands, not looking pained as Thomas clutched onto the large hands for dear life. 

“Four…” 

Again, nothing. Bruises were already threatening to form on Newt’s hands, but he didn’t flinch.

“Five…” 

Now Thomas was trying. Really, really hard. He forced his mind to focus on Newt solely, trying to forget about all his other issues. 

“Six…” Newt said, this time looking more panicked. 

Thomas was able to slow down his breathing after another five counts, but his heart was still racing and he was still silently shedding tears as he stared at that beautiful face. 

“Do you want to tell me what that was all about?” Newt whispered gently, stroking his fingers through Thomas’s brown hair. Thomas moved to sit up, only to look down at his lap as his thoughts battled one another. 

His first instinct was to brush off all of Newt’s worries and fake a smile, try to convince him he was fine. He was about to say no. But this was Newt. This, he reminds himself, is not Teresa. Newt was more genuine than she was, more caring. He was way more open minded about things than she was. 

Thomas nodded his head quickly, not giving more than three nods of approval. His eyes didn’t stray from his lap. They stayed glued to his flannel pajama pants. His fingers fiddled with one another while he tried to work up the courage to tell Newt. To admit what a horrible person he was. Explain that he wasn’t accepted by the rest of society, getting ready to face rejection. 

He gulped audibly once. Then another time. And then once more, before he managed to gather the scattered molecules of his disappearing confidence and fit them all towards his main goal. 

“I’m a sex-repulsed Asexual.” Thomas admitted, closing his eyes and flinching back, waiting for Newt to hit him, or maybe try to “fix him” like Teresa. But none of that happened.

Instead, Newt cautiously grabbed his hands with one of his own, and used the other to lift Thomas’s chin up so the brunette could face him. Thomas gulped again, fear and panic becoming a storm in his gut. 

When Newt didn’t say anything for a moment, Thomas’s balloon burst and he started to rant. New tears quickly replacing the old ones. 

“I’m sorry. I should’ve told you sooner, I know I should have. It’s just things were going so great and I didn’t want to ruin it and you have helped me so much, you have no idea, and I was just scared that you would dump me, or try to fix me like Teresa did, and I didn’t want that to happen. I tried to fix it, I swear I did. But nothing would work, and I know I’m broken because I don’t feel that way about anybody, but-”

“Tommy.”

Newt was crying now, too. He had a strange mixed aura around him, but his face just screamed sadness. He was looking at Thomas so adoringly, but also in a careful way. The strange thing is, he didn’t look like he was pitying him. He just looked at him like he was ready to break, right along with Thomas.

Before Thomas could continue his rant, Newt pulled Thomas in for a bone crushing hug. The brunette wasn’t expecting that, but he welcomed the caring motion with open arms. It’s been a while since he’s admitted this to anyone. The only other person that knows about it is his therapist. 

“You’re not broken, Tommy. You never were. Just because you can’t find sex attractive, doesn’t mean anything. It does not mean that you don’t deserve to live, it doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be loved. Because you do, Tommy. You do deserve to be loved. More than anyone else I know. You’re sweet, and caring, funny, kind, and a very good person. I wouldn’t trade you for anyone else if I had the option.”

Thomas was crying all over again. Another new set of tears flowed over the dried out ones. But these ones were happy. Because Newt didn’t push him away. He didn’t try to fix him. He doesn’t care. 

“So it doesn’t bother you?” Thomas whispered into Newt’s shoulder, a genuine smile sneaking its way onto his face when Newt shook his head.

“No bloody way, Tommy.” 

“Are you sure? Because it will mean no sex, no matter what. And if you don’t-”

Newt shifted his body so he was holding Thomas away from him at an arm’s length away. His intense brown eyes stared into Thomas’s bambi ones. 

“I know what it means, and I really don’t mind. It doesn’t change anything about you. Or how I feel about you, okay?”

Thomas nodded, still not believing his luck. “Okay.”

Newt brightened. “Great. So now that that’s cleared, what do you say about cuddles on the couch and watching Thor Ragnarok?” 

“You read my mind.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hate me all you want, but I am proud to be an aro ace :P
> 
> If you are against that, you can leave right now.
> 
> I have already dealt with (and am still dealing with) the issues of the LGBTQIA+ community disgracing and shutting me out, and I don't need anyone on here discriminating me as well.
> 
> Hate is not tolerated here.


End file.
